A
male
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*mnicebuttdim
writes: My girlfriend and I havent had sex since August, what happened was we went away for the Notting Hill carnival in London in August bank Holiday and had a great time, once we came back she was baptised and ever since then we have not had sex or anything to do with sex. Now we have been together for four years and I resepct her decision but I am now beginning to think she has gone off me or she is not interested in me anymore. She has never given me a reason apart from she is not ready or she doesnt want it. I love her with all my heart and even if we never have sex again I will still be with her and love her but what my problem is is that I am failing to understand the reasoning behind this? Is it religion? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): With women, we need a deeper connection with a guy to usually want to have sex with him. It sounds like for her, she has found something deeper that you are not experiencing with her, which may be creating a barrier between you. And depending on how a woman reacts and her values, getting baptized can mean different things, but doesnt rule out sex until marriage necessarily. My advice is to sit down with her, and really make an attempt to understand what she is experiencing. This can also help her feel more connected to you, improving your relationship. After a while into the conversation (listening and understanding her) ask her about the sex issue, and from there, you can both discuss the issue, and get to the root of the problem. Good luck!
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (15 March 2007):
Is she a religious person? It may be that now, because she's been baptised she sees sex before marriage as taboo but you need to ask her about it. You've been together for a fairly long time so you should feel comfortable enough to ask. If it is the fact that you are both not married then you need to respect how she feels and wait until you ARE married (if indeed you want to marry her) before sex happens between you again.
Eve
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (15 March 2007):
My suggestion: Ask her. Religion may be at the heart of the issue. According to the Bible, it is a sin to make love out of wedlock. Maybe she has adopted this belief, but all you have to do is ask her to make sure.
Good luck!
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