A
female
age
36-40,
*ary
writes:So why is it that sex dies out when couples start spending more time with each other or when they move in together.My boyfriend and i will be moving in together pretty soon because not only do we love each other and feel like we're gonna be together forever but we're expecting a baby.Im 23 years old and my boyfriend is 36 now.When we first got together and he used to come over my place we used to have sex like every night or every-other night.since he got his new place about 1yr 1/2 ago and we grew closer to each other and fell in love the sex died.At 1 point for about a month i used to cry myself to sleep wondering what was wrong w/ me,was i ugly or did i become bad at sex all of a sudden.I confronted him 1 day by asking him if i was unattractive 2 him,that was all i asked i didn't go any further 2 the sex part.i never mentioned it cus i didn't feel like i had to.every now and then he realizes and says himself he knows he's been lacking on the sex.I dont get it what it is.So not only do we rearly have sex but when we do he never really gets hard all the way and i feel like he fakes his lil moaning he does.Now ive come 2 realize that he's the 1 w/ a problem or something cus Im really not an ugly girl at all and my ex's keep bugging me for sex.I hate when he says "spouces cheat cus they don't have what they need at home" LIKE HELLO...can HE take his own advice.And YES I have cheated on him because he doesnt give me what I need,but I do stay with him cus I do love him.Sex w/ my ex is just sex.SO BACK 2 MY QUESTION,Y DOES SEX DIE OUT WHEN THE LOVE GROWS.
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female
reader, kary +, writes (29 October 2010):
kary is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys thnx for the advice.I do love my boyfriend and HE IS the father of my children cus we just found out we're having twins.I did cheat but only for the sex,i needed 2 feel desired.he's the kind of guy that tells me everyday "damn U look SEXY" and stuff like that.we don't go 1 day without letting eachother know the love we have 4 1 another.it's just his sex drive in BLAH.I mean when we do have sex sometimes its amaizing and he goes hard and all but most of the time i feel like i have to beg for it.1 thing i didnt mention b4 is that he NEVER EVER like to cum inside of me.his thing is cumming inside my mouth.He said he's had the same problem w/ his ex's.theyve actually broke up with him 4 that fact that he will NEVER cum inside of them.that makes a woman feel low,unwanted ect. The fact that the person who loves u wont go that intimate.i thought we would never get pregnant cus of that but he did it 1ce and we got it.He had the same problem w/ his ex wife.she told him that thats the way it works so get 2 it.So what do guys think now.And it's not that im like a sex addict but c'mon every1 wants sex plus what kind of a guys pulls out.it's not like i wasnt taking care of myself b4 we decided 2 have a child.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): If youve cheated, then you need to break things off to pursue your needs. Logically put.
I feel your relationship was based on sex first, then came the getting to know each other stage. Which in most cases, is backwards. My guess is that he is not atrracted to you as a person and as a result, the sex has dwindled. Are you sure this is the father of your child? I wouldnt wanna hafta suggest maury povich to you either...
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (27 October 2010):
 Because other things get involved with the SEX. Where you use to just come by and it wasn't the stress of the bills and the house work in there,& worried about how I'm going to look in the morning all the things that wasn't there "TO WORRY ABOUT" are now there! And that makes the takes away from "THE SEX".
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): It doesn't die.
However, you are cheating. That is a problem. Frequently, there are deep rooted issues around sex and sexuality that people don't understand.
You do need to talk about it, the sex, as well as the infidelity, and the relationship, and you need a counselor to help you.
Don't do this one alone.
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