A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband occasionally uses my laptop. And sometimes watches porn on it, which is fine as long as our sex life is ok. I always delete the porn off my browser history as i sometimes need to bring my laptop into work. Anyway, apart from looking up ladies that are the exact opposite of me (i get that), he often searches "ex girlfriend" as the porn theme. Why? Surely if he was looking for porn that reminded him of his ex (which i would be uncomfortable about), he would look up specific traits (ie: bbw redhead etc)I do know that he likes amateur porn in any category he watches. So can someone explain what purpose "ex girlfriend" serves??
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (8 November 2018):
 Just guessing that he probably saw some porn he enjoyed at some point which featured an ex girlfriend and he finds (or tries to find) it.
As you both seem quite relaxed about porn and he is not trying to hide anything from you, why not just casually ask him? Something along the lines of "so, what's the attraction in looking up ex girlfriend when you browse for porn?" and see what he says.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2018): [EDIT]:
"Don't do it yourself, you won't have the skill."
Simply deleting it, or using online instructions to do it aren't enough. You want it completely wiped clean! If the laptop is your personal property no problem.
Employers don't regard your privacy as much as you'd like, but if it's their property they have a right to see what you were using their digital equipment for. It is prudent in the event you were making threats, divulging sensitive company information, or tweeting subversive commentary over the internet that could lead-back to your company's ISP as it's origins.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2018): You could ask us, but the one you should ask is your husband. He can explain himself, all we can do is guess or speculate. Our answers may be close, or completely off the mark.
Like YouWish suggests, it might be vengeance porn. Keep in-mind all this is about fantasy and imaginary scenarios. There is an element of spite and revenge implied; but only your husband can tell you what's on his mind, if he cares to share it with you.
I hope your laptop wasn't issued to you by your employer. I would strongly recommend that you stop letting your husband use it for viewing porn if it is. You will have to have the porn professionally cleaned from your hard-drive before returning the computer to your employer. Don't do it yourself, you won't have to skill.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 November 2018):
 Ex-girlfriend porn is either simulated or ACTUAL revenge porn. The difference between ex porn and conventional porn is twofold:
1. It features amateurs. The women in these videos don't know they're shooting porn, so the sex is authentic rather than a woman simulating pleasure or sex designed to be on camera and features responses not usually seen during actual sex. There's no posturing for the camera. The woman in the clip is not having sex to shoot porn or stimulate a viewer, but she is letting herself go sexually to her partner. It's much more "real".
and
2. The women are not porn stars. They're not acting, they usually haven't been under the knife with implants or plastic surgery. They don't "look" like they've had sex with hundreds of other guys. They look like real women with flaws, imperfections, and not "used" up, for lack of a better description.
There are two kinds of ex-girlfriend porn, the kind where it's simulated, where it's actual porn stars putting on a performance, or despicably, an ex-boyfriend who published a sex tape of their ex when times were good. Maybe they got daring and shot a sex tape together when they were in love, but after everything went to hell, he got pissed and exposed her to a porn site, which is illegal. I can't see a video like that and not think that the guy is the absolute scum of the earth.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2018): Or I should have said the woman next door types.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2018): I can think of no other reason than to make you jealous.
If I were you I wouldn't say anything but use either your laptop or his computer to look up porn with ex-boyfriend as a subject.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2018): Women's feelings often don't get taken seriously on this topic it seems and it's all about men's fantasies being of supreme importance . I would be worried to . Men need to think about the messages they send to the woman they are with in the porn they choose . It feels crappy when your partner deliberately goes out of his way to consistently choose any woman who looks completelymlike you are not .
If q mans fantasies are so far from the real life woman he is with perhaps hemis with the wrong woman . I do agree however that talking to him is the first step . Let him know how you feel and perhaps ask him if he is looking for someone different to satisfy him sexually and if you should be finding a man who is interested in women like you
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2018): Well believe it or not men prefer looking at girl next door types rather than the artificial glamorus types. They are more realistic. The ex gf pages supposed to be of ex wives and gfs put on the internet by jilted husbands and lovers.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 November 2018):
 No idea, why not simply ask him?
Or accept that he somehow think that it's "hot or taboo" and has no real importance in YOUR relationship.
Him looking up " bbw redhead " doesn't mean he wants to be with his "bigger redheaded ex-GF". I might mean that he has seem porn with bigger redheads in them and enjoyed them so they become a "go-to" for him when it comes to porn.
Since it's something that bothers you, ask him without accusing him of anything.
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