A
male
age
30-35,
*enc57
writes:I like this girl but I can’t seem to get to really know her. I have been with this girl for 5 months and getting any kind of personal information is like the most impossible thing I have ever done in my whole life. I just feel like I’ve told her everything about me but I know barely anything about her. we spend hours together every day and I can literally count the days we haven’t spent hours together (6days) I don’t know how you can spend 4 hours every week day and 12 hours every weekend together and barely getting to know a lot about someone but that what happed. If you’re thinking it’s because I dominate the conversation your wrong if anything she’s the only one talking. I do REALLY like her but I just always have this feeling that she still doesn’t trust me entirely which makes me really sad because I trust her more than anyone I have ever trusted before. Most of the time was together she always laughs or giggles and she’s always smiling so I just feel like we like each other but she doesn’t trust me which makes no sense to me considering we have spent enough time together to equal more than a full month. Can someone tell me why she might not trust me or that she’s just really shy or something because its driving me crazy trusting someone 100% and they aren’t even willing to tell you there favorite song.
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male
reader, benc57 +, writes (7 November 2010):
benc57 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not pushy and rude, she asks me tones of questions about my self btu teh second i ask her teh exact same question she suddenly diesnt wana answer, if someoen asked you a question and you answered woulndtn you want them to answer teh same question to you? its like she asks "whats your favorit color?" red "ok" whats yours? "i gotta go" ..... isnt that being alittle rude to me?! i dotn have her to do what i want, every time i ask her anything she straight up refuses but the second she wants something i immediatly do it because i trust and love her. and if she needs anything from me she says it, she is THE most up front person i know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): For one, you might want to stop trying to get her to trust you. I mean - that's really pushy and rude. To try to get someone to do what you want, particularly when her issue is trust.
You probably need to think about what *she* needs rather than what you want. You don't even know where to start so that tells you where to start: thinking about what you might be missing.
Until you have a really good idea of what she might need from you, you have no right to even think about why she's not giving you what you want. I mean: c'mon, man.
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A
male
reader, benc57 +, writes (5 November 2010):
benc57 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk thank you for the advice, I always thought she was cooler than me but I’ll try that. I’m going to go try that I guess it makes sense even though I’m absolutely certain she is the cooler one. thank you again
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Maybe she's scared to tell you her favorite song and other interests because she's afraid she's not as cool as you are, or you'll think her interests are lame. You've probably told her all these cool things you're interested in, and she's afraid that if you find out she likes something cheesy, you won't be as interested in her.
Try sharing a silly story about yourself or something embarrassing or cheesy. Maybe it'll loosen her up and get her to talk.
If you feel like you're pulling out all the stops and she's still not talking, talk to her about it. Tell her that you're feeling like this sharing of information is one-sided, and that you just want to know more about her and who she is because you really do like her. That's honestly about all you CAN do in this situation.
Best of luck!
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