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Why does my friend want to be friends with my ex?I feel betrayed :(?

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *illianSain writes:

Me and my best friend have been friends ever since we were little we met in 1st grade and have been friends ever since, but now I am rethinking the whole friendship because

A guy I was going out with that treated me really bad and broke my heart is now talking to her ( he never met her in person and he has never talked to her he just knew her from me telling him about her) well he just added her off my Facebook before we even broke up and told her your my girlfriends best friend right?

and then went onto tell her a lot of mean stuff about me and then told her we weren't dating anymore before I even knew about it , and he also tries to talk to all my my other friends too.Well I told my friend not to talk to him , but she does anyways and it's like she doesn't even care about my feelings .

She was like why can't I be his friend and still be your best friend , and then she told me she liked him a little, and then she told me that she has tried to get him to leave her alone but that he wont , and I just don't understand why he picked my best friend out of all the girls in the world to be friends with and why she is letting him be her friend even though she knows how I feel.It seems like he is trying to break up our friendship or something and idk why! , but he is a very controlling guy.now I know he is the one who started talking to her , but if she was a good friend wouldn't she just ignore him?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, facebook, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011):

You are better off without this toxic friend who is in actual fact an enemy rather than a friend.

Word of advice: don't EvEr let her into your life again bec when someone betrays you like the way she did, its best not to have people like her in your life.

Hard lesson but oh so valuable!

LoveGirl

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A female reader, JillianSain United States +, writes (4 May 2011):

JillianSain is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for everyones wonderful advice all very helpful :) , but I decided to get her out of my life the trust is no longer there. I just found out from a mutual friend that she went on a date with my ex. I called my friend to ask about it and she was like i'm on your side and all but my mutual friend was with me at the time and my best friend was texting her saying that how did she find out I went on a date with him , and she basically lied to me!It just really hurts I had to lose a friend , but there will be better ones out there :) thanks again for the advice!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

the exact same thing happened to me. honestly he's only trying to make you jealous. he knows it bugs you. that's why he's doing it.

in my situation i tried talking to my bestfriend. just like you did. and it's not that she doesn't care. she probably doesn't realize how much it hurts you.

nor will she.

she most likely doesn't seem any harm in it, my friend didn't. but it's going to hurt you. these types of things make you stronger as a person. i'm not telling you to ignore it. i'm trying to say is don't let it tear you down. if shes' your true friend, in the end it'll be you who she cares about more than him.

but you have to sacrifice little things in order to keep your friendship to last, this situation being one of them. in my case i introduced my friend to a different boy, eventualy they went out. and my ex stopped talking to my best friend, because he realized she didn't care about him. she cared about me. Your friend is probably like mine. she talks to anyone who breathes, and she'll only hate people who hurt her. she's not out to get you or hurt you. she's probably just one of those people.

so dont take it too rough. i mean talk to her, hook her up. distract her from your ex. right now that's all i can think of. i'll post more if i think of anything else. but good luck(: and stay strong!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011):

He sounds like a nasty piece of work. He is using your friend and she is enjoying the attention. It will all end in tears. She is a frenemy. Now yoy know what she is really like its up to you to decide.

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A female reader, fusion08 United States +, writes (1 May 2011):

It sounds to me like your friend wants to keep talking to him. If she really wanted him to leave her alone, she could delete or even block him. Also, by just reading this I can tell she probably likes him too. I would think hard if this friendship is really worth keeping with someone who doesn't care about your feelings. You definately deserve a better friend. Hope this helps.

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