A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why does my fiance' treat me like crap when he doesn't get any sex?We have been together since December of 2008, (it's now july 2010), and lately his attutude towards me when he doesn't get any is ridiculous. He makes me feel like I'm worthless and like a piece of meat when he "needs some". When I address him on how he makes me feel, he claims "he just needs his medicine". Now i know im not perfect and that I am very stubborn, so if i don't like the way i am treated then i hold out. Every now and then i give in just so he can treat me like he claim he loves me. He is a good man but when he doesn't get his way he makes me suffer emotionally. I just don't know what to do anymore and I definitly dont want to marry someone who will make me unhappy for the next 50+ years. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Yes you need to sort this out now. Sit down with him and tell him all what you have told us. When you are married it will most surely get worse unless you stop it now. Show him you will not put up with that type of behaviour.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Well I don't know your sexual history, but sometimes when guys don't get any from their girlfriend, wife, finace, they get upset becaue they think, well you didn't have a problem having sex with others, why are you holding out on me...I know sounds crazy, but that's how guys think.....
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 July 2010):
 It sounds like you're both playing games with each other. Treating sex like a cookie for when he's good is just as bad as him acting like a child when he doesn't get what he wants. Sex is just one of those things that needs to remain an open line of communication, not a reward or punishment. That said, he's being ridiculous by the sounds of it. Have you pointed it out to him how obnoxious he's being? Cause that's not OK to get angry at someone for not wanting sex. Though if he's acting like this because you're purposefully withholding sex, then he has a right to be pretty pissed off. Wouldn't you be? I think you both need to sit down and talk it out because you're both behaving in ways that could drive you apart.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 July 2010):
 It's OK for a women not to want sex, as it is OK for for a women to want sex - Same with guys. Sometimes in a relationship you both don't feel like having sex at the same time, if he can't respect that, he doesn't respect you.
But.. playing games and withholding sex as a way to manipulate and/or controlling your partner is kind of low... Don't you think?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): Tell him to start acting in a mature and healthy way, as you want to be in a mature and healthy relationship.
Acting like a little kid isn't going to motivate you to feel romantic, close to him and sexual- it's going to upset you and make you do the opposite.
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