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Why does my fiance lie about watching porn?

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Question - (13 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 June 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My fiancee told me that he doesnt masturbate hardly ever. He also said when he looks at porn he looks at the one we made- nothing online. Which is a lie because I can see when it was last watched and he never watches it. We live together and he deletes the history on the computer but I can still see what he hes doing and everytime I'm in the shower or I leave the house for a while he's looking at porn online. Now I didn't even question him about the masturbation thing or the porn- he volunteered this information and we have sex all the time- so why is lying about this?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you everyone for your advise. It has helped. Just a footnote: The issue isnt that he watched porn- its that I didnt even ask him about it and he he lied about all of this. I get that guys watch porn- I didnt like it when I first found out but I dealt with it. Its that he lied when I didnt even ask- I dont understand why he would say something just to lie, why not just not say anything at all?

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A female reader, Sexygirl01 United States +, writes (13 June 2008):

It's ok if he lied about it, give him a break. Maybe he feels embarrassed to tell you he watches porn, maybe he doesn't want to feel judged by you. Just let it go. He is an adult and he can make his own decision. I was looking through my boyfriend's closet and I found a DVD of porn. I had asked him earlier if he watches porn, and he said no. He lied to me too, but then i just came to realize he's an adult and I'm not his mom to tell him what he can do, and what he can't do. If he lied to you, he has his reasons. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it unless it was interfering with your relationship.

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A female reader, lotus mama808 United States +, writes (13 June 2008):

lotus mama808 agony auntHe lies because he is accustom to it being a private, personal thing. Does it bother you? It bothered me, but I have learned that it's normal, because most guys do it. I just express to him that I dont like him "losing his seed to other girls, it makes me feel like I'm not enough", which is also a normal reaction for girls, because most girls feel that way about it. I have my own opinion on the matter, but it's up to you to form your own opinion on it. Just remember, he isnt yet used to the idea of sharing all his "private" matters, try to make him feel comfertable with sharing it, or he will continue to lie.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008):

Please go easy on the guy trust me(coming from another male)Guys tend to not tell there loved ones about watching porn,it's very normal.They'll hide it,only watch it when at home alone,it's normal stuff for a guy.Just make sure he knows that you know and tell him you're okay with it so he feels comfertable about it.

Hope I helped in some way.

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