A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why does my fiance discuss things with her family and make decisions with them without even asking what i think or feel,i feel as if i dont exist,should i walk away as i know no matter what i say she will side with them and ignore me for days.
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female
reader, luvme247  +, writes (18 February 2007):
 If this is bothering you then you need to sit down & talk to her about it. Let her know that it is important to you to be a part of the decision making & that things need to change. Tell her that you like the fact that she is close to her family & can go to them but that once she gets their opinion, she still needs to discuss it with you before making the final decision. She may not be doing it intentionally, she is probably just used to going them for everything. If this is as serious as you are making it sound then put your foot down. I am assuming that these are somewhat major decisions that have an effect on you, but your question is kind of vauge. Hope that helps.
A
male
reader, azzarspazzar +, writes (17 February 2007):
 it might be because she is still taking time to relate to you. i think that you should discuss how you fell with her and try to tell her in a nice way that your unhappy with the way that she doent talk to you about these things.aaron
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): So what are the things she discusses with family? Are you a good listener and are you WE motivated when you answer or give advice?
Do you feel threatened that she has a very loving, respectful bond with her family? If so, why?
Some cultures are very close knit and the sense of family is very, very strong.
What are the issues she is siding with anyways? Are you trying to put your foot down, be the man who has absolute rule and authority? Do you KNOW everything?
What do you think your role in a marriage is and what do you think hers is? Have you discussed this?
Does relationship counsellor sound appealing?
This can all be fixed.
The solution for any two people who want to be committed/married is this...there is no one out there who is perfect. We all possess flaws and will make mistakes.
Also, there are many differing personalities that can create "conflict". To reduce these conflicts...ACCEPTANCE.
May I suggest a book for you to read with the Fiance. It will help guide you to common ground and with this, help you focus on the good and build on that.
Stephen R. Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families". It will offer you some insight which seems to be needed.
Compatibility is when one realizes that another is not pefect and has differences and if you will be willing to accept this fact and stil choose to love them and want to be with them.
It's not meant to be perfect and it won't always be run smoothly but the trials and bumps are for you to overcome together and build the WE stronger.
Best Wishes.
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