A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I am a lesbian and have not been able to get over my first girlfriend that broke up with me two years ago. After we broke up, she would get girlfriends but she always kept calling me and keeping contact. She even knew how hard the break up was on me but she wanted to be friends so I tried over and over again but every time I couldn't do it because it hurt too much. Well even now, and she has a girlfriend of a year and a half she still wants to chat online all the time (she's oversees in the peace corps) and remaining friend seems to be very important because we fight like we are a couple and sometimes she even treats me like I'm her girlfriend. I was going to go visit her and she had said that we absolutely would not have sex but that cuddling would be okay...And that she was worried that I was coming because I thought we would get back together or something..My question is she makes it clear that she doesn't want to be with me so why does she hang on to me also? Before she went oversees I would end the friendship and then she would call 3 weeks later saying something about missing me to get me to answer the phone. She use to manipulate me and she doesn't do that in the same way anymore but is she still manipulating me that I can't see? I want to understand so I can let go. I kept holding on for so long because I thought it meant something that she kept coming back and that she would try so hard to keep me in her life, but I know that whatever the reason it doesn't mean she wants to be with me. I do know that she cares about me from proof but she doesn't want me that way. I just want to know what she wants?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Hey me 2! my ex and i broke up because as we were going thru thing she was crushin on sum1 else! they were in love within a week and i did the no contact for 6 months. i finally peeped back in and she gives me mixed signs ..she told me she still lloves me and wants to move on with her life with me in it..ugh but any way...i dont think you should continue to wait around for her or be at her side..as friends yea in the long run. but your not over her..shes been getting the best of both worlds for to long.. and as she falls in love with all the new girls she begans to fall out of love with you more and more and then it just becomes *she loves/cares for you* you wanna be on top! number one! show her what its like to not have you in her life..!!!!! make her chase you. if you started out as the top dog why downgrade as the sideline then as the friend! stop hurting yourself boo!
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 It sounds like you were an important person in her life an although she does not want a relationship with you so does not want to loose you from her life, and likes to be on a friends type term with you.
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