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male
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago.I have looked at her Facebook account recently and noticed that she still has several profile pictures up of both of us as a couple and friends commenting what a nice couple we are and how happy she looked and so on.I am wondering why she still has these photos on her profile if we aren't together? Why hasn't she deleted them? It would be my guess that if she started dating, other guys would see she is in a relationship on Facebook. So, maybe she is not dating anyone? And holds out hope for us?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (17 February 2021):
 Maybe she is not dating anyone because she is not yet ready or willing to date so keeping pictures on her page of the two of you together is her way of keeping the guys at bay for the time being.
As it is HER page and HER life, you don't really get to dictate what she puts on it. It's her business, not yours. You are no longer a couple but she is entitled to leave old pictures on her page if she wishes.
I have a wild hunch here: I reckon you dumped her for someone else and now, a month down the line, the new relationship is no longer as exciting as you thought it would be, so you are sniffing around her, hoping to win her back. Or perhaps you are bored now because of the current restrictions so thinking she is better than being on your own. Maybe she HAS left the picture up because she still carries a torch for you but there is no guarantee of that at all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2021): Hi OP.
How long were you in a relationship with your ex girlfriend?
You said you broke it off. What was the reason?
Are you having second thoughts? It has only been a month.
I think an ex keeping your profile picture up on Facebook without deleting means she is holding out hope for reconciliation. Women are sentimental about these things. If she really moved on, she would have deleted the pic.
You could call her up to say you made a mistake if that is how you are feeling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2021): Frankly, I believe the pictures are of little to no consequence; considering the relationship is over. The fact that you still view her on social media may be an indication you haven't entirely moved-on yourself. The pictures are her personal-property; and she can display them as long as she likes. Everyone close to the both of you know, or will know, that you are no longer a couple. The breakup is very recent, and letting-go comes in phases.
Is she holding-out against hope, maybe...maybe not. If you weren't viewing her online, you wouldn't know one-way or the other.
As for her seeing other guys; I don't think pictures of you will make any difference there either; because they'll be promptly informed the pictures are of her ex. Yours will then come-down, and she'll replace them with pictures of her more recent love-interests.
It has only been a month, it's one of those things you get around to. Pictures capture precious moments, they suspend memories in time, and they perpetuate accurate accounts of our experiences to be remembered for all-time. Eventually their significance fades, and your presence will no longer be missed. She also happens to be in those pictures; and your image is only incidental at this point. She'll remove them when she's good and ready; and it's really not up to you to decide when that is.
If you're already dating, and concerned that other women will see those pictures; simply let them know she's your ex. Dating only a month after you've broken-up might be too soon anyway. They're going to ask about your past and who you've dated; unfortunately, you don't have the power to erase your past, or wipe her out of existence. You just broke-up, it's not like you're expunging a criminal record.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 February 2021):
 I think it all comes down to how often she delete pictures. Some rarely do it, some "clean house" after a break up or when angry etc.
Does it means she holds out hope because she still has them up? Not necessarily.
And like Kenny said, it also comes down to WHY you two broke up. If it was due to you not being able to see each other, or you were LD and didn't get to see each other much, then what has really changed?
If it was to something negative (like cheating) then I think leaving things off is better for you both.
Have a think BEFORE you contact her. IS there a future here or not really?
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (17 February 2021):
 I don't know the reason the two of you broke up in the first place, but I guess you both split up on good terms.
Its hard to say why the pictures are still there, maybe she does not use FB that much. Maybe she has started another FB account, who knows, you know her better than we do.
i'm assuming it ended on her side then, which is why you are seeing your pictures on her social media and thinking this is a chance she is single and a potential getting back scenario.
Maybe other guy's have not seen this, I myself don't have FB, so someone like me would not know either way.
If the relationship never worked the first time around, due to what ever reasons, what makes you think would be different a second time around.
All you can do is take the ball by the horns and get in touch with her and find out what her current situation is.
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A
male
reader, Justryingtohelp +, writes (17 February 2021):
Why does it matter to you? You broke off your relationship. Move on. It's none of your business. Maybe it isn't important to her and she hasn't got round to it yet. Maybe she doesn't want all and sundry to know her business on social media. Whatever her reasons, they are nothing to do with you. Move on and leave her be.
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