A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriends mother speaks through my boyfriend to me whenever he and I are in the same room together. But when he is not there, she will talk to me directly.A few weeks ago they ran out of hot water. His mum came in and first asked my boyfriend how many showers he had that day. He gave his reply. She then asked him how many showers I had. I was sitting right next to him. I said, "one." she then asked him the same question again as if I wasn't there. I said, "one" again. There was a silent pause then she said "right, Chris just have one shower from now on."Or when she dishes up dinner she will ask my boyfriend if I want any peas, while i'm standing there in the kitchen.I don't know why she does it. We get along fine. We have lunch dates and go shopping together. I'm pretty positive that she doesn't not like me.I don't really want to mention anything to my boyfriend but I don't want to say anything to her either... Any ideas on why she does this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KlassyKirsty  +, writes (7 August 2012):
 I think she just feels that if she speaks to her son on ur behalf, she will get a more accurate answer rather than making u feel that she is interrogating u directly to ur face, and is perhaps decreasing some of the pressure by focusing on him to do the talking for u.
U have to address this issue to her of it is becoming persistant and annoying and feels like ur bf has to speak for u, but make it clear that u have the ability to speak for urself. I think she may have a slight distrust issue but dont take it personally, cuz she prefers to hear the answer coming from her son who she has known for much longer but when she gets to know u, she will start to take trust in ur responses
:) xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): It may just be her way, I have an Aunt who does that to all of us. If my boyfriend is with us she will ask me the question, yet when I am not there she directs it to him. For my Aunt it was how she was raised, that you direct the question towards your family member rather than the partner. It was how her parents were and grandparents were. It is strange for people to do it nowdays, but there are people who are like that. If I was you I would just ask your boyfriend why his Mum does this, as your just curious. If she spends time with you going out to lunch and shopping then I am sure it is not that she doesn't like you, it's just a case of it being a quirk that she has.
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