A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is giving me attitude because for the past 3 weekends, I've spent at least one day out with my (female) friends instead of him.I don't know what his problem is. Usually we spend a lot of time together but lately I've been enjoying time with the girls and it's not all clubbing or anything. We go shopping or for coffee or to amusement parks and what not.I'm kind of socially awkward so I don't have a ton of friends. The few close male friends I had are now mutual friends and I'd like to have some friends of my own but how can I if I never hang out with them? He, on the other hand, meets people easily and has a lot of friends (and their gfs) from college that we hang out with.I don't know if it's because he rarely hangs out with the guys that he doesn't want me to hang out with the girls or what... but this is kind of a pattern in our relationship. We spend all our time with each other and his friends and then we broke up and I had no one. Like there was literally no one I could trust because they were still friends with him and didn't know what keeping things to themselves meant.I just feel lonely and isolated... What the heck is his problem?
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (30 August 2012):
 '...then we broke up and I had no one...' Then what happened? You got back together. Maybe if you'd had your own friends and your own support system you would not have gotten back together. That might be his source of security (and therefore power) in the relationship - believing that you have no one but him.He seems to rely heavily upon you for companionship and support and wants you to be as reliant upon him. It's pointless to try to explain this to him in a way he 'understands' because he already understands. He just doesn't like it. My advice is to teach him that this is how it's going to be, he might as well get used to it and that complaining will only result in you spending less time with him. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for open and honest communication, but I also believe in effective communication and nothing communicates quite as effectively as actions do. You've already had this conversation with him and nothing good came of it (which is why you're here) so the time for talking is over.Youn aren't doing anything wrong and you enjoy time with the girls. No need to discuss it. When your boyfriend sees that griping abou it gets him nowhere he will eventually stop doing it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): His problem could be a few things . Either he is guilty of something and just nervous or he is just the jealous type or he is scared that you will meet someone else while u or out. It could be also that he doesn't want u to know that being single is so much fun too. Did u give him a reason for him not to trust u or ur friends ? Good luck
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