A
female
age
30-35,
*oGreen126
writes:Dear Aunties,Why does it hurt so much when someone you love is physically apart from you? The pain seems... Irrational when one considers that one is still loved by that other person--there is just no geographical togetherness.e.g. The ripping feeling and welling of tears when my boyfriend leaves my presence. I asked a question like this already, but got no response--I'm sorry if my persistence is annoying. --GG Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pandabird  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 Ah, I know the feeling... I wont be able to see my boy very much for the next week because he has looming deadlines for uni, and ever since he left my house(only yesterday!) it's felt like a dull ache on my heart... Completely irrational because he's only a 30 minute walk away!
It definitely makes it all worth while when you see them again, I agree with absence making the heart fonder, but it's still incredibly annoying.
Use this time you're not seeing your partner just for You.. It's probably one of the few times you don't have anyone else to worry about, and it's very important to maintain independence.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 Reminds me of the first time my ex went on holiday.. was like he was leaving me forever, not for 6 weeks. I cried my eyes out at the airport, his family couldn't help laughing at me... lol
He came back 2 weeks early, after spending all his time phoning me, and staying in his room writing me lovely letters. Poor guy, not much of a holiday, but I was sure happy when he came back.
sigh... hurts like hell now he's gone forever... (I'm working on that one... lol)
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 March 2010):
No dear... yes it hurts, hurts like hell.. When we fall in love we get obsessive, almost like we take that person into our bodies. When they are gone, it's like loosing an arm or leg. Love makes these funny chemicals so we can stick together.
Mothers feel it too when they are away from their children.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): First I'd just like to say that I'm glad you have persisted with your question, if you received no responses before! It might have been a slow time on the site or something, last time you tried.
I'm not sure I have an answer really, but I do know the feeling you describe. Maybe it is because you simply do not want to be apart from the other person, and when you have to say goodbye it is like being torn apart from each other. And after, you feel lost and lonely. Empty and incomplete. Because the other person makes you feel whole, complete, like a hole inside you has been filled. And when they are not with you, you feel that loss more than ever.
It could also be insecurity. I know I feel that way at times. I start to wonder if the other person is missing me the way I am missing them. Whether their feelings for me are as strong as my feelings for them. Whether they are as affected by my absence the way I am affected by theirs...that can cause a lot of pain and turmoil for me. Maybe that is just me, but it could be another possibility.
Love can be painful at times, as your question proves. But it is still a wonderful thing I guess, especially when you are back with the one you love. That can make all the painful times worth it. x
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 It's because they are a part of you, and when they are not with you, you are incomplete.
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