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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Very long story short. I remanined in contact with an ex FWB so to speak. I was kind of torn with the idea of staying in touch just a friends because i thought it might be a bit awkward. Anyway, i'm single and he has a girlfriend now. He's been with her about a year i think. This is my problem. Sometimes we talk online, just casual "hi how are you?" stuff like that. Since about 4 months ago, everytime we talk online he seems to bring up my love life. For example, i had a week off work and he asked if i was enjoying my time off, i said i was enjoying being able to stay in bed for a change and not have to get up early for work. He then turned it around and said something like "you found a guy to keep you company in your bed then?" i didn't really know what to think of that so i just laughed it off.The second occasion was he asked how my weekend was, i said i went out saturday night then he said "on a date?" I could go on because there have been many conversations like that.I did actually ask him why he keeps asking me, he said something like "because you're an amazing girl and deserve someone nice" i'm just finding it a bit weird. Do you think it could be a control thing? He's with his girlfriend so i really don't think it's normal to be asking me things like that. He has recently started bringing up our sexual history aswell.Why does he keep asking who i'm dating/seeing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd just like to say i have not slept with him or anything else since he's been with her. Just thought i'd make that clear.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): I was like that with my girlfriend before we got together. We were friends for a good while before we became lovers.
Anytime she went out etc. I wanted to know if she'd met a guy or other such things about her love life. I did this because I was interested in her, interested in getting with her and didn't really like the idea of her getting with other guys. But I also hated the idea of not knowing whether she did or not.
The thing with her was though she acted the same way with me, always asking if I'd met anyone or if I said I didn't get to sleep 'til late she'd ask me if I was up all night shagging. Things like that.
Now we were both single so it was fine.
What your guy is doing is the exact same thing but he only wants sex, except for him he doesn't want to know if you're with other guys out of jealousy as the case would have been with me and my girlfriend, he's only interested in your availability and whether he can get you to start another sexual arrangement with him.
He's testing the water, you were his FWB now he wants you to be "the other woman" He's setting you up to cheat on his girlfriend.
Now you may think he likes you or wants to be with you, but that's wrong, if that was the case you would have been boyfriend/girlfriend the first time around. Now he's bringing up sexy talk as a prelude to convincing you to sleep with him again. That's how it starts, he's testing the water with sexy talk, he'll slowly start throwing in little extra's and see how far you're willing to go.
Plus this guy is doing all of this behind his girlfriends back.
This guy has you as his plaything already, yes you are, what do you think his girlfriend would feel if she knew he was doing this. He using you and wants to use you more, because he had FWB with you already so he thinks why not have that again.
The question you've got to ask yourself is if you really want to be used by this guy, if you're really willing to continue to let him use you to hurt his girlfriend. You gotta ask yourself what kind of future you could see with a guy like that.
If you're cold-hearted and just want sex regardless of what happens to her and without expecting him to treat like anything other than a piece of meat, then he's ready, willing and able.
You wanna test him? Then play along a while, see how this goes and where he takes it. Now you know what he's up to, you'll be able to read what he's doing much better. You'll also see how this kind of things is done. How we guys use the slow build up, the things we say to put you at ease, the hints and insinuations to test the waters, then asking to meet up for coffee or drinks "as friends" it really is an interesting game to witness. Just don't doubt for one second that, this is what he's doing. Because everyone here will tell you that.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 He is probably just curious to see if you have moved on yet, alot of guys tend to do this even if they are in a relationship, i think he is just being nosey and i wouldnt worry if i were you that he is trying to be controlling.
However him bringing up your past sexual relationship says to me that he might want to rekindle something sexual, as he knows now that you are single therefore it sounds to me like he is slowely making his way round to asking you to sleep with him again.
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