A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend hasnt really met my friends yet but whenever i talk bout he always says to me are they fit? This hurts me. Why would he be bothered what they look like? He says cos he like to get an image of what they look like! One time when he was out with me and a few friends. He told me which one was the best looking. She was naturally pretty and had something bout her! He makes me feel insecure. God know what hes like when he goes out with his mates! Am i over reacting or is he cruel and someone who doesnt respect me or my feelings!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): Overeacting is a relative term that differs with the person feeling the emotion.
Basically, every person is different. Certain things make certain people feel insecure, while they would have no affect on others.
For instance, myself: if i was in your situation, I would feel very hurt. But several of my friends would not be phased, but it's not because they're undereacting or i'm overreacting. It's because we are different people.
So my initial point is, don't let people come on here and tell you you're overeacting.
Since this is hurting your feelings and it doesn't sound like you've even been with him for very long (he hasn't really met your friends yet), things will probably not get any better from here. This is obviously not the type of man that your personality and character requires to make you feel good about yourself. So i suggest finding a different one before this relationship progresses and continues to deflate your pride and ego. I was stuck in that boat WWAY too long and now i'm a disaster.
Plus, what if someone did answer you and tell you you're overreacting? Would that suddenly change the way you think and feel about the way men should behave? I don't think so. It would only make you feel worse and at fault for something that you simply cannot help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): Nah I see what you mean, my boyfriend does exactly the same and randomly says ''I'd fuck her'' it does really hurt, and no you ain't over reacting.
You probaly like me- know he's not going to cheat or do anything with some other girl but true having you're boyfriend, the one whos meant to be concentrating on you and not some other girl- telling you how fit, hot, pretty etc another girl looks does hurt.
I can't give any advice; I can only agree with you and say it does hurt and it's wrong, guys with girlfriends shouldnt be complimenting other girls, especially to they're girlfriends!
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A
female
reader, elwoodbluelou  +, writes (28 May 2009):
 i would get rid of him, now.
if he has more interest in your friends then he does in you, then he isn't worth your time.
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