A
female
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anonymous
writes:My ex bf just told me he wants me back, but he is the one who broke up with me in the first place.During out relationship he was always pointing out all the things that he didnt like in me, such as my values and beleiefs and just generally my personlaity. In addition to this, his friends never liked me because I wasn't into all their guy activities such as binge drinking, cars, motorbikes and porn. I think his friends influenced him partly to break up with me. I guess another reason for the breakup was that we both had different ideas about what relationships should be like and both had different wants. Anyway its been about 1 month since we broke up. He has contacted me a fair few times since then just making general conversation and being really nice to me. Now he says he wants me back. He said you dont know what you have got till its gone. I am reluclant to take him back. I never felt like I could trust him in our relationship. He was always putting me down and trying to change me, and making me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. And and Im not sure how we could even make the relationship work if we did get back together. We coudlnt make it work then, so how could we make it work now? Its not fair for either of us to give up our values and what we consider important needs and so on.I dont even understand why he wants me back? He obviously was never happy with who I was, so since I wouldnt change he ended it. I havent changed since our break up either so i dont get why he wants me back.I guess my questions are do you think i should take him back? why does he want me back? and how could we make this work if i did give him another chance?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): I have a very similar with my ex fiance, I was that guy but, I have compromised my values and morals to fit her life style. And it did not end very well because I choose to stay with someone who would change for me ended up hurting myself and allowing her to use me up. I just say if you decide to get back with him you both have to learn to respect for each other and how they feel. Otherwise don't waist your time when you could be with someone that is on your level.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (28 September 2009):
 It sounds like he is just afraid to be alone, and is using you. Otherwise why would he want to be with someone that clearly he wants to change?
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (28 September 2009):
It sounds like he is just afraid to be alone, and is using you. Otherwise why would he want to be with someone that clearly he wants to change?
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): You have already answered your own question! You know you need to kick him out the door. Don't be his bouncing ball, enabling him to have you when it is convenient for him.
You will only go back to find that nothing has changed.
People don't change; you have to accept them for who they are.
Just let him find another woman, and he would be off again!
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