A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My guy friend really confusses me! At times I think we are getting close to starting something then he seems to back way off. It goes from him texting me often, calling me before work just to chat, buying me gifts, going out of his way to do favors for me and giving me long hugs to hardly ever texting me and giving short answers when I text him. What's the deal? Sometimes I feel like just a platonic friend and sometimes it seems like soooo much more....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): I think you need a reality check here....it isn't soooo much more, in fact from what you describe he shows very little romantic if any interest in you.I think most guys who are just friends with a woman do want to sleep with her because they find her attractive but either value the friendship more than ruining it with sex because they know it wouldn't lead anywhere or they would be casual about it, or they are interested or involved with a woman they like better.He isn't really giving you what you want. Texting is a very low energy, non invested form of communication. To him you are third or fourth string in his line of women he has in his life. I am sure you are a great girl and he likes talking to you, but you are responsible for reading into his behavior where nothing in it is supporting your fantasy of a budding relationship.Instead of trying to figure this guy out or obsess about every action on his part, realize that he isn't taking the relationship forward for a reason....he's just not that into you.Keep yourself open to the idea of getting to know and date other men, because when one of them is truly interested in you, you will know it without sitting back and analyzing his behavior....because he will make sure that you know it without any doubt.
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