A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so sorry for how long this is but can someone give me a chance and read it please? I really need some advice.I have been with my ex for nearly two years. I was his first serious relationship as all of his others were only a month or two long. He is the kind of boy who likes to wait and not rush into things. When I first got with him, he was a virgin and I let him wait until he was ready for sex and until he made the first moves. When we first got together, he made all the first moves and asked me out. Last week it was our second year of being together so he took me out for a meal and then cocktails. That night was so amazing, amazing sex and him constantly kissing me and hugging me and telling me he could never leave me and then a week later he tells me that being in a long term relationship just is not him because he is the kind of guy who doesn't want any kids, no marriage just a career but yet, he is still coming over my house and cuddling me and hanging out with me, but no matter how much I cry to him and ask what I did wrong, he says it has nothing to do with me, he just never wants to be in a long term relationship but that he is sorry for hurting me. He said he did love me with all his heart but that he feels different now, and when asking him if he still fancies me he said he did a little but that it was fading... is it really over or is there hope? Can someone please help me.thanks. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): He may think he is too young and in a way he is right. However, you can still impress him by being strong. There is nothing so intriguing for a man than seeing that he is being turned down. It may not affect his response now, but he will remember what you did and compare you favourably with other people he will meet. You have lit a little fire and it will kindle for a long time whatever he thinks right now.Have faith, tell him to leave you alone and you will make sure that he remembers who you are. It won’t have the same impact if you just let him treat you badly. If you do that he won’t think of you as the strong girl he knew and foolishly left. He will think of you as the soft girl that he could walk all over in his time of doubt and who offered no resistance to his way of thinking.In your position I started dating one of my first love’s friends and it made him jealous in the short term and we got back together for a little while. But not long. This relationship of mine needed more time to become appreciated. Now we are together, we have the same sense of humour and craziness, we “know” each other in a way that nobody else could.It seems to hard a task I know for a girl so young but the braver you are now the more you will reap from the situation later. Be firm with him and let him go.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): I think people always tell us who they are if we will only listen. He says his feelings are fading, he doesn't want a relationship, and that it has nothing to do with you.
I would say that about sums it up. Him saying he loves you may be how he actually feels at the time, but this boy is just a boy, not ready to be a man, not ready to settle down and have kids with you....
If you are under the age of 17, why are you in such a hurry for adult responsibilities? If you enjoy his company and want to continue dating casually knowing that he could go with someone else at any time then do so, but if you want more, then he is not the guy to do that with just yet, so you have a decision to make, stay or go on and date some other dudes!
Also, please don't make the stupid mistake that many girls in your position do and get pregnant, if you want to see him run away fast then just try it and you will be on your own a single mom....and the child will pay the consequences for your poor decision. Always, use protection and hopefully you are on some form of pill birth control, you do not need the responsibility of an unwanted pregnancy on your hands and neither does he.
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