A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE ANSWER, ANY ADVICE IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.okay lets try keep this short and sweet!ive had a friend hmm.. lets call him Chencho.so chencho and i have been friends for around 3-4 years now and we have always had chemistry.we talked for a while but I was falling interest in another person while another girl was occupying his time so I made this other guy my boyfriend and he made that girl his girlfriend. So we were both officially taken. Each relationship lasted about a year. In grade 11 we started getting closer because he was cheated on and so was I. He is my neighbour and we have grown very close in the past year. There has always been an attraction but I have never acted on them due to the fact that I was unsure of his feelings. Senior year has hit and we have been flirting left right and centre. Hanging out stuck to each other! He had a party that crashed where he ended up unhappy and only wanted me to just hold him for a while. I ended up sleeping in his bed for the night but it was a night filled with cuddling and this was the first time we passionately kissed. The friendship after that night changed. Soon after , I expressed my feelings for him.NOW FOR THE PROBLEM:There was a senior trip where no parents were allowed. My friends opened up to me about Chenco being a "man-whore" and I found out that he puts on a front about me to his friends. He makes it seem like I'm running after him but when he's with me its different. We click , were so compatible and we frequently have deep emotional talks. I spent a night in his room where we were about to do the NASTY and he said "Well, if this happens I won't be the one who catches feelings...because I don't even have any now" so I felt shot down. I backed upp and got up, his friend (let's call him Cameron) decided to claim me for the night and we did it in the same room in a different area. I sent Chencho flowers when we got back from the trip to say I'm sorry and we talked and he said he needs time and we would be cool again. But in the meanwhile my friend set up a conversation with chencho where he was acting like a badass saying "its whatever bro, Cameron got my sloppy seconds." Like , excuse me? So I brought it up to him and we got into a heated argument where he goes "obviously i have feelings for you and I legit love to be around you." I have recently found out that he's being trying to get with a girl I grew up with (he is fully aware that we grew up together...) So I am officially STUCK now, and don't know what to do.Should i further pursue this friendship or give up? I toatally am in love with his character , and his family loves me but am just confused as to why he pretends he has no feelings, like hes some big shot player in front of his friends.
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male
reader, xgod  +, writes (6 May 2012):
 You seem to have no direction in this situation. Your emotions are running rampant. You need to do two things:
1. Check for STD/Pregnancy just in case.
2. Give up on him. He is manipulating your feelings for him in order to brag to his friends with lies that will hurt your reputation and your emotions.
That's my opinion. Take it or leave it.
A
male
reader, loveonce  +, writes (6 May 2012):
 At one hand he says he will no be the one to catch feelings..soon he says he has feelings and again you find that he is behind one of your friend..So my opinion is ,if something lovely needs to be happened,it should be mutual..may be your friends are right regarding his casual approach towards relations,may be he is not ready or want to be ready for a serious relation now.So be aware and control and use your feelings judiciously..remember things should be Mutual,only then it is satisfactory.
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