A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for 4 years, we have a 1 yr old son together. Out of these 4 years there have been 5 "other women" in our relationship. He has never physically cheated on me, but he tends to build friendships with other women behind my back. Even going so far to delete all texts messages and/or put these women as men's names in his phone. The only time he seeks out these friendships, is when our relationship is having problems. He says he doesn't feel like he can talk to me, so he talks to other girls. I recently found him on a dating site, sending messages to other women. He says he did it cause he was upset with me. He always tells me that he has no real interest in these women, and would never actually be with them. And that he doesn't know why he does it. Why does he do it? Is he just a womanizer? Does it boost his ego? Or is there a real underlying problem here? Is this something that can be fixed and worked on, or is it something that will never change?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): I dated a guy who was like your bf---he always kepted other women as "friends" that way when problems arose, he could seek comfort and whatever else with these women. Your bf should be ashamed of himself and this is a read flag for you. Why? Because, it is an indication that everytime something goes wrong in the relationship, instead working it out between just you and him, he will run to some other woman. If you don't put an end to this right now, it will only get worse and it may lead to him cheating or even leaving you for one of these other so called female friends.
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (14 May 2010):
 Sounds to me that there is an underlying problem! A husband/boyfriend, should not have to go to other women when there are problems at home! He should be discussing the problems with you. How is his talking to other's resolve problems with you??
Anything can be resolved with the right methods. It begins with communication,honesty and trust. Sounds to me that all three of those are lacking from your relationship. And they are the keys to a healthy relationship.
You most likely would need couples counselling to work on your issues. If both partners are not will to work on it, I don't see much hope in your future together.
I apologize for being blunt, but it's the reality of the situation.
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