A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:every time me and my boyfriend hang out with one of my best friends he seems to always flirt with her. whenever we arent with her he says we should go hang out with her. what should I do???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): He could be playing games to make you jealous, or just be a born flirt. Did he flirt a lot before you were together?
If it upsets you, you should tell him. If he prefers her then back off and find someone whose eyes don't wander so easily.
Is your friend flirting back? If so, maybe you could also tell her how it makes you feel.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (18 April 2008):
 Tell this Bozo stop flirting with my friend or you are HISTORY. Better still when you hang around with his friends flirt with them like mad, see what reaction you get out of him. If he gets mad then simply turn around and say "Honey what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, now you know how I feel you Jerk"
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A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (18 April 2008):
 You're all done. He does like your friend.
But DON'T confront him or ASK him. You will not get a truthful answer anyway--or you will and it will be devastating. And asking will either put him on the defensive if he does like her, or make him wonder about it if he hadn't thought of it, possibly leading him to actually like her.
Here's a way you might find out for sure if he likes your girlfriend without actually asking him.
Try asking him to fix up your friend with one of his (or tell him about a fix-up you've arranged), or, if she's already taken, then have your friend invite her boyfriend along on a double date.
Either way you'll see his reaction to the 'fix-up' guy or her boyfriend, and you will know for sure. His jealousy toward the guy with your girlfriend will, somehow, surface. He won't be able to hide it.
Or, you could just ignore it and hope you're wrong. That's what I'd do.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Why dont you just ask him outright just what the hell is going on? What can you lose? dont get upset or angry with him, try and say it in a jokey way. Just ask why he want her to be around all the time when he has you. Make a joke of it at first, but if this continues then you have to be prepared to face the facts that he probably likes her too. But just how much? Talk to him.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (18 April 2008):
Oh dear...sounds like maybe he likes your friend???
But I dont know that for sure. There could be some other reason that I just cant think of. Next time he seems so eager to hang out wtih her you could ask why?? See what he says. I think you should also tell him that the way he behaves when he is around your friend upsets you. Dont accus him of flirting. Just say 'when you do [insert actual behaviour, ie. touch her sholder when talking], it really upsets me, why do you do this?' Allow him to explain himself. Then you need to decide if you think what he says is lame or not. If he knows how upsetting it is to you, hopefully he will stop it. If not then he isnt a good bf and you deserve so mch better! you deserve someone who is sensitive to your feels. so you need to allow him to know how you feel so he can be sensitive to them. hopefully he will be.
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