Why does he keep dropping me and then come running back?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been in college for three years now, and have dated many guys throughout the years, most of them being the typical tool frat guy, but last fall I met someone I thought was totally different. He treated me like no one else, he was the country boy I never dated before. When we started talking and seeing each other, we hit it off right away. To me it felt super comfortable and felt like we have been together for years, we would sleep over at each others place a lot, but we were never all the way intimate with each other, but with him it didn't matter because it felt like so much more. However, after about two weeks things suddenly changed without warning. I wouldn't hear from him if I didn't start first, and we didn't see each other for a good two months. My heart was literally broken into 1029309 pieces, he was the first person I might have said in time that I loved, and then he falls off the earth. Then, two months later he suddenly reappears in my life, I don't know why but i jumped back in to the same situation, we would see each other for a week or two and then not hear from him for another 1-2 months. I swore i wasn't going to allow to hurt me anymore because I do have a lot of strong feelings for him and every time he does come back into my life I end up getting pretty hurt. Recently he started talking to me again, and we saw each other a couple times out in the club and he came to one of our house parties the next day, however, I thought it would be different this time since he had a girlfriend back home....i was wrong. He kept telling me exactly what I wanted to hear, how I am still the girl for him, blah blah blah. I decided we were finally going to have an open and honest conversation, that I was finally going to say everything that I feel. We ended up walking away from the party that night and talking. I told him how much feelings I had for him, but I didn't deserve to be treated the way I did from him, that I had a person in my life that DOES treat me like the only thing in the world that matters, but I am still stuck on him. We ended up going back to his place after the party and slept over, (when I am with him...I feel like no one can hurt me in the world, I feel so protected and wanted when we are in that moment) The next morning he did not want me to leave, just to lay with him the whole day, but I left, In the next couple hours I was on facebook randomly and saw a post from his girlfriend that she is glad they fixed things and that she loved him. So two hours after I left they fixed things...and i haven't heard anything from him again. Why am I so caught up on this one guy? I dont know why I keep letting him back in my life when all he does is disappear after a while. It is not like I am just a booty call because it is not like we are all the way intimate, so there has to be a reason why he keeps coming back to me, i am sure he can find a girl that is loose and that would do whatever he wanted. Why me?

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A female reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 June 2010):

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