A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been separted for over a year, he knows I still care for him but he says he doesnt. A few days ago he tells me that he does still love me - would be easy to go back with me but he wants to stand on his own 2 feet. I was ok with that, I love him but buried that away so he couldnt hurt me anymore. Friday he calls me out of the blue to ask me out, he says "I'll call you back in 20 minutes" which he does. It was getting late so he wanted to see if his family would be ok with him coming to their house so late (he's staying with them).He did the 2 things I wanted: Him to ask me out and for someone to call up and say, "heh want to grab a beer?" By the 3rd call, he sounded like he wanted to get out of it, so I tell him that. He said no..how about we do this tomorrow. I'll call, he never calls back but then I'm not sitting by the phone either.Saturday comes and he ignores that we were to go out, he tells me yeah, i'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I even said "you know i told you that it sounded like you wanted to get out of it" he again denied that he wanted to get out of it.He was having a real bad day and he thought of me, why won't he leave me alone? To heal? Every time I get 10 steps ahead, it's like radar goes off in him and he contacts me. He said he was sorry, I said "that's easy for you" I now have to pick up the pieces again. And again, he's back to saying he doesn't feel anything for me. he even went as far as to say i don't love him, his life since he left me and the kids has been horrible, one failure after another. The kids and I have been very blessed, where he has to live with family, my kids and I are enjoying the townhouse I found for us, they have lots of friends, I was able to take over everything and with the help of God we're staying above water, without him being here.After I realized what he did, my first thought was revenge, but then I calmed down. He's not going to manipulate my feelings or actions, we were to get divorced months ago, he's been staying with family at no expense to him and at the time making over 50,000. But somehow he tells me he didn't file the divorce because he cant afford the cost 84. I told him I'm not filing the divorce, he wants it, he can do it, all the paperwork and cost.I even got bold and told him he was stupid for letting such a good woman go. I thought when you separated, you separated, you were not finding ways to see the other person. My question, if he wants a divorce, says one day he doesn't feel anything for me, why the sudden change to "I still love you, your a good woman" and asking me out? And when he has such a horrible day I'm the one he reaches to? How do I move forward? I truly love him, but everyday its another emotion. MOD NOTE to Original Poster: For future posts please replace -- with a comma (,) this makes it much easier to read and edit. Thank you.
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