A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been having a long distance relationship for about three months with a guy I have known for 10 years or so. I went to visit at his house last weekend and noticed that there was a picture of him and his ex up on the wall. They were together for three years or so, but have been split for about 2 years now. As far as I know she is his only long term serious girlfriend and she ended it, but they are on good terms. Neither of us mentioned the picture but he knew I had seen it. we have not officially had a talk as to whether we are in a proper relationship or not as are just seeing how things are going.But now I am wondering if he is just messing about with me in the hope that one day he and her will get back together or something. I don't know anyone that would have a picture up on the wall. I have a child with my ex, and although have pictures of him in albums (for daughters benefit really) and we still get on great, I would not consider having a picture of him up. Especially after such a long break up. I really like this guy and think that we can make a real success of our relationship, but i am worried that i will get too attached emotionally and end up being hurt if they decide to give it another go. Or is he just being dumb and not thinking and really it is just a picture of a memory, the same as other pictures you have up on your wall? I don't want to scare him off by making a big deal of this early on when i am not really sure what the situation is. Just wondered what other's views were on this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Maybe it is time to have that talk. Ask him if he's ready for a relationship as he still has a picture of his ex up on the wall.
It could mean nothing, but I was seeing a guy who had a woman's pic on the wall, he said she was an old friend and had been seeing her before we started and continued to do so. I wondered how I could be so stupid afterwards.
Don't wait to find out. Be proactive.
A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (30 April 2009):
 I wouldn't say he is still holding out hopes for them getting back together, they've been split up long enough (if they'd been split up for less than a year then alarm bells would be going off for me). Men can be a bit callous and not really think about these types of things much to be honest, especially if he himself isn't the jealous type. I woulnd't worry too much about it x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): I'd say..yeah, if she is the ONLY girl up on his wall, then that might be indicative of something. I've had friends that had a collage of women on their wall though. This is indicative of something different all together, I suppose.
But anyway, I mean, the first step to moving on is getting rid of things that remind you of your ex (pictures, mementos, letters ect), and he hasn't done that. And they are on "good terms", which means she will still be in his life, to a degree. Probably even more so when he finally gets a GF, cuz that's just how it works.
Would you lose him to her? Speculative. Its very difficult to say at this point. Maybe if you actually declare each other as going out, he'll take the picture down and a replace it w/ a picture of you.
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