A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, This is about my ex bf, basically he dumped me nearly 2 months ago, anyway, we talk on the phone most days, see each other most days, just like when we where going out, Anyway, i still have feelings for him and he knows it, we where still having sex bout twice a week after we split but we havent since last monday, as he has now started going out with this girl he meet over the internet and she lives in scotland so hes only spoken to her on the phone and the internet and only seen pics of her, Anyway basically last nite and like most times i see him, tries playfighting with me and flirting in that sort of way, i was with to off my friends one who works at the pub an another i work with, and they both say he still likes me, but i cant see it he says going bk with exs dont work, as hes done it beforeHe also flirts with my mate who works at the pub when im there, but she said that when im not there he doesnt flirt with her,Its like he wants to make me jealous and see if i react to him doing itIm just finding it a bit strange how he is like this still with me and that he is seeing this girl in scotland, and that both my friends say he still likes me,from what hes like round me, but then he tells me different, that he wouldnt get bk with mewe where together 9 months Any advice xxx
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female
reader, marijo  +, writes (20 December 2008):
 Guys can be really be a pain you know...I think the selfish bastard simply want to have the best of both worlds..Do not let him use you or play with your emotions again!!! He does things like that to you coz he knows for a fact that you still into him..he's taking advantage of the situation...Trust me this wil go on and on...
get rid of him fast and try to move on...you sound like a very nice person, that's why i dont think you deserve someone like that, go and find someone who RESPECTS you and doesnt play with your emotions or use you for sex...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): He is doing what a lot of men and women do when they like you but don't want to be in a relationship with you. He is keeping you as a back up. He enjoys your company and likes sleeping with you but doesn't see you as a true girlfriend. To him you are just a friend with benefits (he can have sex with you and hang out with you but he doesn't have to commit to you. He is searching for what he really wants by dating other women (like the girl he is dating in Scotland)but he has you to fill his basic needs while he searches.
You have two choices...You can either continue to let him use you and in some small way you will still have the 'pleasure' of having him in your life OR you can stop seeing him, cut off his lifeline so that actually he realises that he can't use people in this way for his own selfish need, and you can get on with your own life.
Don't let him use you. He doesn't want you as a girlfriend, just a 'stand by'. Nothing you can say or do will make him come back and even if he does, how long will it be before you have to painfully watch him go off with another girl.
Turn away from him and don't see him. What you don't know and see cannot hurt you and besides, if your always hanging around waiting for him your not going to be exploring and getting to know other people. If this guy comes around again to see you, tell him (or get a friend to tell him) that you can't and don't want to see him again. Painful I know and very upsetting but after a couple of weeks you will feel much stronger and happier and you will have the satisfaction that you took control of your life and put yourself first for your own sanity.
I have had to do this recently with my ex (although we are a little older than you) He would come around for sex and then tell me he had met a new woman and that 'she was the one'. I got sick and tired and bored with the pain. I realised that he had no respect for me or infact any woman he dated. It was all about him and I doubt there is a woman in the world who could put up with him. Now whenever he comes to mind, I think about the terrible way he treated me and how my love for him has now died,then I cannot think about him any more.
Please just cut the cord and let this man go because there is something and someone better out there for you.
Good luck and lots of love xxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): you didn't mention why did you guys break up. Was it your fault? if no then he's being a chicken with you and trying to put whole blame on you after having regret. Just give him a cold shoulder and move on.!!
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