A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I give my husband all the sex and love he needs, but for some reason he always flirts and talks dirty to mutual friends, family members and w/ me all the time. His topics are always about sex, please help me to understand WHY?????
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): He feels so confident, safe and content in his marriage to you that he knows he would never do anything past joking, and would never be unfaithful toward you. He feels this gives him the right to say offensive or derogatory comments and jokes, and act as such.
Since his confidence is what makes him feel he can get away with being like that constantly, the only way you'll get him to stop is by consistently reminding him when you see it happening. Pull him to the side somewhere and say this same sentence everytime, "I feel ______ when you do (or talk like) that." And fill in the blank with your choice of any of the emotions you feel when he behaves like that. For example, hurt, betrayed, forgotten, embarassed, etc. It might take 20 or 30 times of saying that, but he'll slow down alot, if not stop completely. This will redirect his attention toward how you feel everytime he gets the urge to be that way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): "Give" him all the sex he needs? It's not a gift from you to him, but something that you both share and enjoy. Maybe that mind-set is at the root of the problem?
Sex should never be a gift, bargaining counter or blackmail/trading commodity.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): does he have any children? it seems to me that sex stays on the mind til you have children.
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