A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. Our relationship is really great. For about the last two weeks things have been a little strained. He went on a trip with some of his friends to vegas about a month ago. I saw some pictures on the internet of him with some girl so I confronted him about it. He denied that anything happened but then a few hours later he decided that we should no longer be together. I was shocked by this because I automatically figured he was guilty of something. We talked a little more and then he apologized and said it was a mistake so we are still together.then tonight I think I caught him lying to me. Since the picture incident I occasionally check his e-mail. There was a message regarding a job interview that he has been waiting for. I ddnt tell him I checked his e-mail but tonight I asked him if he had ever heard anything from the company and he straigh out said no!!!. Why does he feel he needs to lie to me?is my relationship over and were just fooling ourselves?please help. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): If you think he has a need to lie to you then you probably have caught him lying on multiple occasions. That was an incorrect way to manage a relationship issue from his behalf, by breaking up unexpectedly to later apologise, and eventually because of his lying your ability to connect to him will be lower which in turn will create more space for conflict. He may have broken up for a short while in order to distract your attention from the picture but the main point is that you still haven't clarified that incident, have you? If this occurs with every(?) difference that you have, that remains blurry and unresolved, you have a rather flimsy connection. I advise you to reevaluate what you have, see what you want in general and what you receive in your so called relationship, to decide if it is worth carrying on, and if the benefits outshine the rest.
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