A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im feeling pretty upset today, there seems to be this pattern with my bf that when we makes plans/ say we will do something they never happen. Its not all the time but it does happen quite a bit.Like this weekend we said we would either see each sat or sun... well i txt him today saying did he want to call round for a cup of tea and he text back saying tea would be lovely but hes busy today how about meeting up tomorrow/ tuesday. When i read this message i got a horrible feeling in my stomach as i was little bit hurt by the fact that he had cancelled and just said sorry im busy. This happens a lot and im not sure if he just does not think or if he really doesnt want to see me. Ive been with him for 6 months now and i really want to make this relationship work but feel hes really not that bothered. Another thing is that we rarely sit down and talk about problems we have im terrible at expressing my feelings so i know i need to work on this. Can anyone give me some advice please on what to do/ say?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 Does he have a special reason to cut down on your dates? You should talk about this openly. Tell him that you have noticed him sometimes cancelling plans, sometimes last minute, "can we perhaps manage our time better as I would really love to follow through with the plans made and not have this become habitual". It can also be a question of you feeling the need to see him more often than he does; this doesn't need to be personal, just a need of his while in relationships. Supposing his motives are relevant, and you understand him (tiredness after work, perhaps), you should decide how this suits you and if you can get accostumed to seeing him less often than you would wish. You could also set shorter dates or maybe make better use of the time you do have, and make it unforgettable? All the best.
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