A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After a guy cheats on girl, why does she all of a sudden the love of his life?He starts saying things like:-Your the beautiful girl i wouldnt trade you for anything-I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you-You mean so much to me-I cant live without you-I'll fight for you until the end-Im nothing without you-Your my true loveHe didnt act or feel this way before he only starts saying all of these things AFTER hes cheated..why is this? And is it short-lived or is it sincere?I believe its out of desperation and after a couple months it will go back to the same way it was because if he meant what he said he would have showed it before and he wouldnt have cheated. What usually happens to these kinds of guys/relationships?Thanks! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the answers!
Serpico- where not talking about a guy who even appreciated his girlfriend to begin with. So how could she be appreciated only after hes cheated.
In my opinion when guys cheat, the girl he cheats on is simply not what he wants, he doesnt treat her the same, he doesnt even care about sex, he just loves the comfort of knowing someone will stay with him, loves him, and only wants him. Before he loses this he does and says everything he can to make sure he gets that comfort level back. He knows that she will take him back and all those words have no real meaning behind it.
In most cases i find that a girl who takes him back doesnt really want to take him back but then its comfortable to stay with the same person you've been with and it small ways she puts up a fight by making comments or getting mad at him. And most of the time the guy will get tired of it and say i cant put up with your comments anymore so were breaking up leaving her high and dry and hurt.
It seems that his "deep" feelings quickly go and quickly can come back on, in which case there not deep feelings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2010): Because men are addicted to cheating and like it when the woman always forgive him. that's the only reason. if i was you i wouldn't believe anything he tells you after cheating on you. believe me, i've been cheated on twice and i know about this. right now, i would dump a guy who cheats on me even if it was a great relationship and even if he begs and cries because in my experience, cheaters never change.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (11 November 2010):
This may sound strange, but I know many guys who tell me how much they appreciate their gfs more after cheating. I think one reason is deep down many guys are disgusted by women who will give themselves easily, and this is most often the case w the other party. This sample of "whats out there" makes them appreciate what they have more. Sort of twisted logic but I have seen it plenty of times.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Very complex answer, depends on a lot of factors.
However, you are young, find yourself someone who will not treat you this way, set a standard of this type of behavior being "unacceptable for me to be treated this way", value yourself in your own mind.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Chigirl is right. If his BS works and he manages to get you to forgive him, then he can go off and cheat again safe in the knowledge that he knows you'll be easily convinced to forgive him again through meaningless words.
If he knows he can cheat and all he has to do is say sweet things to you and you'll take him back, then he'll just do it again and again.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 "I believe its out of desperation and after a couple months it will go back to the same way it was because if he meant what he said he would have showed it before and he wouldnt have cheated."
Yes.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Oh, and what usually happens is that the guy continues cheating, and if the girl has been brainwashed for long enough she turns a blind eye and gets told she can't find anyone better, so she doesn't even attempt to leave, and in the end have no self respect.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 November 2010):
My guess is that words are cheap and he only says it to make the girl stay because he knows if he doesn't suck up to her she will leave him because he is a cheater... It's all games. If she was that special he'd never cheat to begin with.
It's not sincere. Action speaks louder than words:
cheats=doesn't value you
says cute things=an attempt to cover up the cheating
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Because they're grasping at straws trying to claw back any trust from you. If those things he told you were true he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. It's just desperation because he was found out to be a cheat. Don't believe a word of it.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I agree 100% with Cerberus
Talk is cheap, yet plenty of women fall for it. Gets suckered in and turn a blind eye on the "bad" thing in the guy, thinking they can "fix" that later..............
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Yeah it's desperation, he's trying to suck up now and as soon as he's satisfied you've forgiven him and intend on staying with him he'll just revert to not caring again. When he thinks
Talk is cheap, actions and behaviour are the true meaning of how someone feels. His actions and behaviour in cheating says he couldn't care less about you. Basically all those things he's saying are worthless, they're not how he really feels (or he wouldn't have cheated) and they're solely designed to make you comfortable with him again and forgive him. That's all. As soon as he thinks he doesn't need to do that anymore he won't.
I mean if you read all those things back you know they're lies because if even one of those things was true he wouldn't have cheated. He's just a big old lying cheat.
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