A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i need some advice. Me and my daugther's father broke up a year ago and since then we have been arguing about things like him calling his daughter or him sending her back home because he moved to georgia after the breakup but the thing is when we argue, he shows his family the messages or puts me on speaker and i dont like it. then his mother gets an attitude then when i go to georgia to get my baby. some of his family come over and look at me funny but what irritates me is he always says i want people to know how stupid you look and sound and he is 28. Why do you think he spends his time trying to make me look bad thanks for your help
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female
reader, lovestruckash +, writes (24 January 2011):
I think this so immature of him no offense. You need to let him know that whatever issues you have between eachother is between you two only there is no need for his family to get involved if they are not the parent of this child. Next time he puts you on speaker be blunt tell him do me a favor And take me off of speaker this is between you and were talking about our daughter not anyone elses. There is no need for anyone get or listen in to our business. As a mom you need to take control you deserve to be respected not exploited. Grab the bull by it's horns it's your daughter no one elses so let them make all the faces they please. Do not let this phase you because of a immature man and a nosy mother. I wish you the best of luck feel free to contact me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks :)
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 By attempting to make you look bad he thinks he will make himself look better.
Okayyyy, this advise was given to me when I found myself in a similar situation: write everything down. Use a notebook that you cannot easily tear pages from, not a spiral notebook or one with loose leaves. It needs to be stapled. NEVER tear any pages out, even if you doodle all over them or write rude words. This book will be admisable as evidence IF you ever need it.
When he phones you, or you phone him make a note of the day, the approximate time and what the conversation covered. If he made specific insults or requests make sure you write them down.
If the phone call information means you then need to contact somebody else, such as his mother or the child minder, or booking a train ticket, write that down too. If he puts you on speaker phone ask him if he has, and then write that in your notes.
If you correspond by text or email, make a note of the date and time of the text, also make a brief note of the message and any replies you send.
When he tries to stir you up by saying you are stupid etc just say its a matter of opinion, try to ignore no matter how difficult.
Never bag the other parent in front of the child.
There is no need for anybody else to know about your book of records other than yourself and a trusted family member or friend. One day you may need to prove what a dunce he is and the book will provide evidence of how he has acted all through.
Good luck to you and your baby, I am sure this will all settle down once he gets off his power trip and moves on to something else.
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