A
male
age
36-40,
*tudentOfLife
writes:I've been reading a lot of books about relationship, confidence, how to think positive etc... Those books changed my life. I've became more social, self-confident and more of a people person. I seem to be getting the wrong idea out though. I invite girls over for diner to talk, or encounter some on the street and talk to them. When the friendship starts I usually receive an email/call of that girl telling me that she doesn't want to see me again because she knows what I want. They say that all I want is sex and that they're not like that.Turns out I'm not like that either, just like being around the opposite sex. I asked some of them what I did wrong, what I was doing that gave them the idea I wanted sex with them. They gave me answers that means roughly this "We know that you're that kind of guy."My question is this, what does that kind of guy do?The reason why I want to know is because I just became friend with a girl that I actually have feelings for and I don't want her to think that I just want to have sex with her. I don't care if it doesn't end up in a relationship, I just want to stay at least friend with her.Thank you!
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male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (6 June 2008):
StudentOfLife is verified as being by the original poster of the question I never saw it that way before.
Wow, I knew I was doing something wrong. Next time, It's going to be the most publiciest of public place in the world.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 Play hard to get and dont make the first move. I dated a guy who I suspected was a bit of a player yet he was such a gentleman and never tried it on once, just a kiss at the end of the night, this really surprised me and in the end around 3 months later I pounced on him, he was still a player and the sex was crap but thats not the point!! If a guy comes on to strong it can give out warning signals to us ladies and we run a mile.
Be a gentleman, always take them out in public rather than invite them to your home from day one and take it slow x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): All women have a defence mode in their head, its to weed out the good and the bad guys. I would NEVER go to a guy house for a first/second date, they don't know your just wanting to talk, most guys don't. Now next time just go out public place for date.If I got you wrong anf your not inviting them to your home then YOU are doing something wrong and coming off as creepy.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (5 June 2008):
StudentOfLife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't feel as if I'm acting any different with these girl since I don't have feelings for them and don't want anything else than being friends.
I do like to have physical contact with someone. Now that you mention it, maybe they see it as if I'm forcing myself in their bubbles. I'll try that, thanks :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): I suppose if you open the conversation by telling them you don't want sex they're going to think you're a weirdo.
Funny creatures, women. My advice would be to be yourself. Talk about what may be a common interest, ie you both may enjoy the company of a pet rabbit or you both like to go bungee jumping.
Keep your hands to yourself unless otherwise invited and don't mention the 's' word.
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