A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:why do people sleep with eachother after they have split up,?Thats what me and my ex have been doing for the past 3 months, and i dont think there is any chance of getting back together as hes in a long distance relationship and has never meet her, but where still sleeping together, and ots happened twice since hes with this girl, people say there is still something between us if we are still sleeping togheter, but he wouldnt have another gf if there was, eventho hes nevere meet her
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long distance, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Dear Poster
You need to take stock of what is happening; I am of the opinion that this guy is using you for sex. Yes, you are both very comfortable with each other, you are use to each other and have been sexually active and drawn to each other whilst you had a relationship; but things did not work between the two of you and not even the sex could keep you together; now he is involved with somebody far away; sex is not available on a regular basis and he is getting it from you; NO, stop him from using you like this; you are allowing him to take advantage of the feelings you still have for him; stop hoping to have this relationship back on track; how will you be able to ever TRUST him again? He is cheating on somebody else with you? You approve of it, by having sex with him. NO, I think you should tell him that you are not available to him for sex and that it is over; have dignity and self respect; move forward with your life; IF he really and truly cares for you and wants you, and if you then honestly think you can trust him and that the two of you can overcome the problems that caused you to break up in the first place; well let him do some chasing and do some running to get you; TOUGH LOVE. Don't make it easy for him. Do remember that the sexual chemistry between you did not vanish immediately because you broke up; it is still there, but it is not enough to make a relationship work.
Think carefully and stop the sex. If you want him back, try TOUGH LOVE; but it ain't going to happen if you keep sleeping with him.
You will have a better chance of meeting somebody else when you are not sleeping with him; whilst you are sleeping with him, it will be very difficult for you to move forward and to move on; you are like a prisoner in his bed. Set yourself free and then make a selected choice.
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 I think what you describe is a part of human nature. Is there anyone else on your horizon you are interested in? I would suspect not if you are still hanging on to this old relationship. Why are you hanging on to it? I think because you are human and because you fear the pain that would come if you said...this is done...I need to move on. Sweetie.....you deserve way better than this. I agree with the other posters that you have not given us all the details here. If you still have feelings for this guy...I would back off if I were you...certainly from a physical relationship at this time and try to work out if there are the other things that are needed in a relationship...ability to communicate, compatability for example. You need to face facts...he is seeking out others and that does not sound good to me. Keep your dignity and see what he does to step forward and show that he cares. Good luck hun!! XX00
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Typically, a man and woman continue to sleep together because it is easy, familiar and does not require all the courting needed to establish a new sexual relationship. In the situation you described, it may not seem to make sense that your relationship is doomed. There is apparently more to the story, but as stated, he has not even met this supposed new lover. However, your relationship sounds very rocky, and it would be up to you whether to continue providing sexual favors for a man who is apparently on the prowl.
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