A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do people hurt partners, cheat, or just disappear? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think you can actually 'trust' someone fully in a long-distance relationship either, as you don't know what they're doing all the time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry to keep asking you questions, anonymous but here goes:
Did he say he would change, that you were the girl for him, no matter what?
This girl that he is going out with is going to start a job for an airline in the summer, which will mean her not being there a lot of the time. Because he is 3 hrs away, he may change, but I don't think he'd be faithful to her (despite what he says, which I guess he told you he was going to be faithful), do you?
There's also the fact that he has told every girl he was with that she would be 'the one'.
How long were you two together before you found out he cheated?
I had a long-distance relationship with her for a couple of months, and I was always faithful to her (thats the difference, I was tempted, but I didn't act on it, he does).
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): It seems that intimacy between people is at an all time low and self indulgence is at an all time high, making for a lot of people out there that do not know how to have a good relationship, nor do they want to have to be a responsible partner.
Be wary of a person who has cheated before, be wary of a guy who wants to date you from 3 hours away....in his mind this would most likely be a long distance booty call, that he can quickly disappear from and do what he wants to do.
People disappear all of the time, life moves fast and they take people as they come and go, what was done to them, they will do to others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Well he always had phone calls and texts from other girls even from the beginning of our relationship. He assured me that they were just friends and that i had nothing to worry about.As we were in a long distance relationship I started to feel a little insecure. Instead of him reassuring me that all was ok, he accused me of being possessive,jealous and gave me the silent treatment for a few weeks. So thinking it was me and I had a severe jealousy problem, I tried building my own self confidence, even reading books how to overcome it etc. Funnily enough he was always changing his phone numbers, looking back in hindsight he had probably been cheating on me from the very beginning. But when we were together and he told me he loved me that's what I believed, because you always want to see the best in those you love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou probably don't watch Neighbours, a bit sad to admit that I do (!) and there's this guy Paul Robinson, who is 'a ladies man', who cheats and hurts women, even after he marries them.I have no real evidence, apart from the conversations that people have shown me, of this guy of being a cheater, but if it is true, he'd remind me of Paul Robinson, who ended up getting a punch in the face by the women he hurt, and got caught in the act a few times. I just dont want to this girl to become a victim of the possible Kent equivalent of Paul Robinson
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan I ask anonymous how long you were going out before they cheated?
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A
female
reader, NuttyGooner +, writes (9 March 2007):
 I don't intentionally choose cheaters as partners, however, when I find them to be, they find themselves residing in Dumpsville: population: them!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): I was in a long distance relationship (2hr drive) when my partner cheated, his excuse was that he was lonely when I wasn't around! If that was truly the case and he really loved me then he would have done everything he could to see me as much as possible and even move here to be with me. I had my own place but he was still living with parents, so I suppose he just didn't really want the commitment.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Why do some women choose cheaters as partners? I think most people men and women if they are looking for an intimate relationship with someone will always want to see the best in their partner. if they are the trusting type then they would possibly overlook the cheating signs or subconciously ignore them because they have fallen in love. ie hidden phone calls/texts/emails excuses not to meet up etc.My ex had a habit of answering his calls in the toilet and texting girls who were stored under boys names! I became suspicious when he became emotionally distant toward me, not texting and phoning like he used to. That's when I snooped at his phone and confronted him with the truth. I was devastated, the only thing is, it has now knocked my confidence and I will always be wary that this may happen to me again in the future with another partner. So hopefully I won't make the same mistake again, I'll definately have my eyes and ears open.
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 There are so many reasons why people cheat on their partners usually they fall for someone else. Why people disappear again would have many reasons each situation would usually be different. Sometimes love just falls apart and one person wants to move on. It is very hard on the person who is left behind to pick up the pieces.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy do some women choose cheaters as partners?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): I had a bf, we were on and off all the time for a few years. I could never get to the bottom of why he behaved the way he did and thought it was me, until I found he was cheating.So needless to say I dumped him, six months later he was crawling, begging me to take him back. So foolishly I did. Four months later he dumped me by text only to say he had work commitments and needed some space. I phoned him a week later to see how things were with him, only to be told he'd met someone else and not to contact him. So really I haven't got an answer, I've been hurt, cheated on and now he's disappeared! All I know is he's the one with the problem not me. I'm sure it's just a case of finding someone genuine and I suppose experiencing all the negative relationships makes you more aware when someone really positive comes along. Best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf the person who has cheated or hurt people before, and they have just started a long-distance relationship (3 hours away) is it likely that they will cheat again?
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A
female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (9 March 2007):
Theyre usually sorting something out within themselves. Theyre wanting to prove something to themselves in the long run. I wouldnt take it personally, because if they can do it to one person, theyll do it to whoever.
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