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female
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anonymous
writes: first question: why do men want threesomes?second question: why would they want a threesome while they r already in a relationship with someone they love?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): I am in my fifties and met a man I liked very much this past summer after having been divorced for several years. He has been divorced for 20 years and I suspect he hooks up with women for his sexual needs whenever it suits him. I've been trying to fool myself but I know it's true. I think he gave me herpes because I never had that before until I started having a relationship with him. He was adamant that he didn't give it to me? well, hard for me to believe but he acted like I was diseased. For my own sake I had myself tested for various std's but he still acts like I'm a leper, I still know he infected me, but won't argue that anymore. I think he has just been seeing me because he wants a threesome and I told him flat out several days ago that's not for me. I would find it very emotionally disturbing for me and I can see him dropping me quickly after he gets what he wants and then I've got all this emotional crap to deal with and it's risky enough my having been with him and thinking that he is being intimate with other people. I told him I think it's weird how he can just split himself off between having sexual relations with someone and having no emotional feeling for them. I'm now beginning to view everything nice he has done with me was done in order for him to get me to do what he wanted. He really has acted like a spoiled brat (and he is middle-aged) when I said what he wanted wasn't for me. He says he got royally screwed during his divorce twenty years ago, well my life hasn't exactly been a piece of cake since my divorce but I'm still a feeling human being and care about his feelings when he now acts as if he never knew me because I won't fulfill his selfish fantasy. What a jackass!Threesomes aren't for me, they're risky considering all the STD's and quite frankly I don't want to interact intimately except with one partner I am committed to. Incidentally he likes to emphasize he is straight but would want me to be with another woman. I explained to him I'm not judgemental but I'm not a lesbian and have not asked him to be with another male. He is a brat, isn't he?!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): I am in a a situation at this very moment where he wants me to get involved in a little threesome or couple swapping action to add spice. I have to be honest, I have lived that lifestyle in my highschool and college days being wild and carefree experimenting. Only because I wasn't serious about anyone but I am now, and rather live without it. He has never experienced it and feels "left out and deprived" as a man. I am contemplating moving on with my life and leaving him behind so he can live his swinger lifestyle that I got over years ago. He makes me feel guilty that I did and he didn't and doesn't understand the friction it would cause, gets upset then says its ok he doesnt need it then it goes back to it. I am seriously confused and need some advice we have dated for 1 1/2 years.
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A
male
reader, john2000 +, writes (9 September 2006):
Way do men want threessoms? not all men do,I loved my wife but because of an illness I could only preform for a short time, my wife and I talked about her having someone else to satisfy her needs but she didn't want that so we went for a threesome so she could have her pleasure fulfilled, we have been together now for 30years and still do so but not so oven, we have never regetted doing so
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): I would never have a threesome. However my girlfriend has been in one with two guys before. I'm not sure I can stay with someone who's capable of that. It disgusts me whenever I think about it.
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (17 August 2006):
 I could never understand the threesome thing... A few friends and I had a little discussion about it some time ago. We wouldn't go for it cos of moral reasons but one thing we never understood was whats so fun about the thing? I mean, we only have one penis and taking it out every now and then is seriously not something we'd think of as fun but an interruption!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): I agree with DrPete. What makes you think all men like threesomes, hun? There are men out there who really do value their relationship with just one woman and do fully understand the basis of committment and fidelity to just one woman. Usually he's a confident, secure man who has had a good, upbringing with moral standards and respect for all women, in general He cherishes family, his beloved and he knows, who is a priority in his life. This is the type of guy that will not consider, stepping out of the bonds of his love relationship to do this. If he does, I feel he is showing a lack of self-control, a lack of respect and love for you and is displaying an out of control ego with only thoughts of his sexual needs being fulfilled. In other words, no one else count. Women who consider such a relationship with a man like this...should evaluate why they would even allow a man to suggest such a thing and really reconsider their choices. This is not a man, that a good future should be built with.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (16 August 2006):
 Goodness, I cant spell today. That should say QUESTION. Sorry. xXx
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (16 August 2006):
In answer to qustin one, that is a generalisation and not at all true for all men as Dr Pete rightly said.
In answer to question 2, well some people are weird, thats all, ands they obviously dont truly love their partner or they have no concept of monogamy. My idea of being in a relationship is that me and the man are together, there is no room for "Jane", or "Tom", its just us two. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): There is no way that a man in love with his woman and who can be content with the trust, commitment, faith, devotion, and love of their union would want to jeopardize this by "inviting" another into this dynamic, this bond.
He will see his woman as the most beautiful and delicate creature on this planet and value her and be what she wants and needs.
He will not see her as a piece of meat to pass about with countless others and will not put his selfish, sexual fantasies before her well being.
This in no way shows this man respects and honors you.
I say leave the twit.
It is apparent that you and him have differing views on relationships-he needs to be straight forward about his "swinger" lifestyle and seek after a woman who shares this desire.
If he can think to involve someone else; he is capable of cheating and breaking your heart and leave you devastated.
Please be wise and strong and tell yourself you DESERVE that loving man that you longed for; devoted, faithful, respectful, loving, considerate, kind, patient, compassionate, monogamous!
Best of wishes.
*hugs*
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Not all men want threesomes.
Neither do all women NOT want threesomes.
Why would someone want a threesome when they are already with someone they love?
They don't love you in the same way that you love them.
Most likely they have a different attitute towards sex and intimacy.
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