A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have this problem..all my friends say i lost a lot of weight. I just got out of a relationship and I know that this is the reason. Its not that I don't have an appetite to eat. I do have!! The problem is when I start to eat, I remember my ex and I feel like vomiting. It's like the food can't slide down my esophagus. I cannot swallow. Not only vomiting, I also have headache. I don't know, i seem to be okay now, its only this eating problem I have. Does this indicate that even though I said I am moving on, still I am not? I am not depressed anymore but I just remember him whenever I try to eat and that's when I become sick. So it makes me want to avoid eating because I don't want to think of him. And now I have lost weight.Aside from that, why do I feel that I miss him or wished he could drop me a message but when I look at his photo on his facebook account..i realize how ugly he is..I hate his face. Anyway, I have always felt this even before. I just like to look at him inside his dark car but I am embarrassed when I see myself with him in public because I don't like his face. And he knows that, he said he noticed it.Can anyone give me some advise on how not to feel this way especially when I eat. There is no association between my eating and my ex really. He was a nice guy and never abused me or called me names. Or is this a symptom that I am actually still depressed about our break up? How do I divert my thinking?
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Unfortunately it seems to me that your unresolved distress about losing your partner is manifesting itself as a fixation over eating. If you feel sick, and cannot eat, you are really deeply upset: in a way, by feeling like this and not eating, your subconscious and your body are trying to bring attention to how upset you are.And it works: people say 'what's wrong? why aren't you eating?' and the answer is, 'because i splitup with my boyfriend'. You hunger strike is a rebellion against what has happened. To get you eating again, your boyfriend would have to come back - which is what your subconscious wants.
I agree that it might really help to see a counsellor.
nx
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 July 2009):
 This smacks of a serious psychological disorder. You should at least consult a counselor or doctor.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): Means you haven't moved on yet.
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