A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I thought we had a great relationship. He asked me to marry him, told me how many kids he wanted, where he could see us in 10 years time. For the past year, it has been bad, he has cheated on me, hit me, last week he even threatened to pour rat poison down my throat, I've been finding myself, sitting at the computer while he watches TV pretending to not be there, I can't go out, he won't let me. yet its strange, after he blows up and does this he seems so apologetic and will start crying telling me that he loves me and that he needs help, but never goes to get it. I know I love him, I'm just not sure I can be with him like this. I want to make things better but I don't know how, I was kind of hoping that someone could help me.
View related questions:
cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Why are you still there? You have to get out and get out now. I speak from experience. That is all i can say. I have been there before and i know what i am talking about. He will never get better, only worse, the abuse will get worse, please promise me you will get away.
take care and be free.
xx
A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Dear anon
I have heard and seen some strange things in my life, but i think rat poison tops the list, why are you putting up with this bozo he must be out of his mind, if i was you i would be out of there like a bat out of hell, if you continue to take this abuse then there is no one to blame but yourself, there is no way you can help this guy, he wont help himself, abusers always follow a pattern, which ends up with you in a wheel chair or DEAD, do not let him do this to you, your life is worth a lot more than bozo, get out of this relationship NOW
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Get out! You deserve better...you might not think it now, but you will realize as soon as you get out. I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship last week, though he never hit me or cheated, it was always possible that he might have since he had a temper. I feel so relieved now. Call the police if you have to (have someone help you move, or move out when he is not there). Your life depends on it! And I'm not kidding! Don't say you can't leave, because you can! It is up to you now!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):
The difference between someone who gets abused and leaves and someone who gets abused and stays is that the later person doesn't believe that they will be loved by anyone else.
When it comes to scenarios like this, people hide behind the idea that they stay because they "love" the other person but it has much more to do with their own inability to love themselves. It takes courage to admit the real reasons for why one does something.
No doubt you have had fun times with this guy, even the worst relationships have some kind of good memories, at least at the beginning. But to stay in this kind of relationship really is quite serious.
If you were ever unluckily enough to have children with this man, how do you think they will turn out when they witness your destructive relationship? Especially when you know that by making the right choice now in your life you could have avoided all that.
It sounds to me you are long overdue a relationship based on love and respect, one that you can really plan a future with. Your current relationship is over, it's up to you whether you realise this now, or in many painful years or decades later.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 October 2007):
 He tried to pour rat poison down your throat????
Babe you need to get out and get out now, of course he is going to apologise afterwards and tell you that he will get help, because you have forgiven him before and accepted what he has said, so he knows the right things to say to keep you there and keep on abusing you.
If you don't get away from him you will end up DEAD.
I'm sorry to be so harsh with you but you really do need to know the possibilities, because you hear of it all to often.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
