A
female
age
41-50,
*tacy123
writes:I miss him, this is so painful, why?My bf and I broke up again, it's been on and off for about a year. This time he told me he never wanted to talk to me again, he was done with me, that I'm delusional and off my rocker. I know he thinks he has tried his hardest and has just given up. I always needed more, I always felt I had to "teach" him how to be a boyfriend. Did I expect too much? I didn't like how filthy I felt when I'd go to his house. Who would want to snuggle into filth after his dog who he never bathes and who smells something awful (as does his house) has been in his bed night after night? And why does he never offer to help me around my house, or ask if I need any help? I'm a single mom w/ children? And why is it he always showed up empty handed time after time when I'd make him dinner? A bottle of wine maybe would have been nice. And why would he let me pay for things when I lost my job due to a lay off? I had to finally say something to him about all these things. He got it for a while, but reverted back. I did eventually find a job, but NOT ONCE did he ever ask how I was doing financially. I don't understand. A lazy mind? But I fell in love with him, he told me over and over how much I meant to him, and eventually he did do things for me, but only after I spoke up. I guess it was just too late, and I just went off about all of it. And he basically told me to jump off a bridge. Why do I still miss him? I need to get over him. Help. Please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): Ok the first thing here is that you did the right thing to bring all these feelings of resentment out into the open. On reading your post I do not believe that this guy genuinely cared about you. If he had been a decent chap he would have realised that things were hard for you financially and that you were upset about your job situation and would have offered to help out. He would have instinctively paid for meals out and keeping a clean bed is just common hygiene for his own sake if not yours. I think lazy, user comes to mind and you are well rid. Obviously he didn't like it when you told him all his failings to his face but hey tough! I have found men always always turn to the golden oldie of women being crazy/mad/delusional/unstable/mental the list is endless when they hear something they don't want to hear. Often they will tell you to go and f yourself as well as they can think of no answer to what you have to say as there isn't one. The power of love is a strong one and overides all this and I know you still miss him. You have to ask yourself was it just a question of habit. You can see reading your post that he wasn't very nice and I am sure you would say that you are well rid to anyone else posting this question. You could do sooooo much better for you and your children. Give it a bit of time, time does heal everything. The desire to call and think about the person all the time does eventually fade and other things will replace it. When you start thinking about him and missing him remember how mean and dirty he is, make a list and refer to it. I used to do that and it helped as it used to make me feel mad all over again. Don't go back to him. all the best
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