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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: We broke up, and she is the love of my life. I miss her so much every day. Always i look at pictures of us together and just want this pain to end. When i asked her how she felt she said the love had faded...she said that when looking at pictures of me she doesnt miss me. Why do i miss her so much and she misses me so little when it was like heaven when we were together. How can some one just flip this switch? Were still good friends but she wont even say i love you back to me anymore. Its almost like she hates me.....but if she misses me so little then why is she making small talk so much? Why dus she call me when upset instead of any other guy or girlfriend? I am very hurt and confused. Whats going on? What do i do? Can i reflip her switch in time? We are long distance and i will be near here in due time....can i fixe us? Were very good when actually together...so how can i win her back now? How can i show her i still got it?
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broke up, I love you, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Thanks guys. She recently told me that she had cheated right after we had gotten back together for a short time. This all hurts so much.....with past girlfriends or "ex's" ive never cared who theyve been with, if they cheated we were over period. But i love her so much it drives me insane thinking about her making love to someone else, thinking about her making the same noises, the same faces, going down on him. I wish i had the same switch she has so i wouldnt be crieing like a baby all the time. Even if she did come back she would only give me a short apology for her painfull mistake, the more i talk to her the more i think she doesnt care. Ive gotten over her before then she came back just to cheat and hurt me again, so what do i do if she comes back again? I think she needs to work for us this time. Prove to ME how sorry she is and how much she loves me. Im not giving in this time. Everytime i think of this other man and her together i miss her less and less. Maybe its best just to let her go.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (16 August 2008):
Oh dear, she is doing what all girls do and it is completely the wrong thing.
She's not saying "I love you" because she doesn't love you. You've split up and she's trying to help you to move on by being sure not to tell you she still loves you. She doesn't hate you, she just doesn't love you.
However she is still trying to be your friend and she is calling you up because she knows she can talk to you when she is upset.
What you have to do is be strong and tell her you need her to stop calling for a while so you can get over her too. Then you need to go out and have some fun with your friends and talk to some other girls. Distract yourself.
Don't look at her pictures, put them away and do something else when you get the urge.
It's tough but it's what you have to do. Go cold turkey on her for a while to get her out of your system.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pre011  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 you should move on if she dosen't want you then 4get her the right one will come soon becuase i was the same as you but i got over it:)
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A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow +, writes (16 August 2008):
 lol you miss her so much BECAUSE she misses you so little. It could probably be a deep jelousy
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Love is a very complex process and it is sometimes hard to read such mix signals. My theory is that girls who play hot-and-cold actually live in fear of being rejected. Hence they try not to give their full emotions away easily and instead build a wall. I think she does love you but may have been hurt in a previous relationship. My advice is to play harder to get. She will think that she is losing you and may bring down her defences more. Its then just taking time to build the relationship and hope for a happy-ever-after. Hope it all works out
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