A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Why do I like guys? I'm sorry. I just wish my life was simpler, you know? I know I like girls, but guys are constantly in the back of my mind no matter how much I try to ignore it. I just want to break free from it. No matter what, I still find guys just as attractive. I hate this. I've tried just focusing on one side, but the guilt, the pain, the sheer fact that I'm hiding this from myself and others is enough to drive me crazy. Why couldn't I just be gay or straight? I hate this. No matter what, I feel like I'm betraying people, but more so myself. What is wrong with me!? I'm sorry. Maybe I'm better off alone... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 August 2018):
 You are still young and you are still trying to figure out what you want from a relationship! There is nothing wrong with being bisexual and really nothing to feel guilty about. Don't label yourself, think off it as a positive you have the pick off more people to date! Once you are open and honest with yourself you will find it easier to deal with. It is okay to explore and in time you might realize your swayed more to one sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2018): I'm gay, Although I lost my virginity to a female; and I have had sex with several females. I am attracted emotionally, romantically, and physically to men. I could never connect romantically with women. I love women, but I no longer want to have sex with them. They can still turn my head; and I find myself checking-out a pretty woman all the time. I can even say the sex was good!
You don't have to act on your every sexual-impulse. You can feel conflicted or curious; but that doesn't mean that you have to scratch every itch you have. If you don't think you can form both a romantic and physical-connection with men; it would be best that you stick with women. You're young, full of powerful hormones, and if you have been exposed to a lot of porn...it's questionable. Non-conclusive.
My argument that men who watch porn are also looking at dicks. It's not done until the close-up of the climax scene. I rest my case!
You might be bi-curious; which only means it may not be your true sexual-orientation, just a curiosity. You might be repulsed by actually touching a guy; and going beyond the visual-appreciation you have. Straight or heterosexual doesn't mean you can't identify the fact a man is handsome.
If you get sexually-aroused by the sight of men, well...I guess you may be bisexual!
Cornell researcher Rich Savin-Williams recently published a book indicating that many heterosexual men are "mostly straight." I suspect porn may have attributed to more fluid attitudes; but that's my opinion, not scientific fact. I've asked straight-guys I know if they ever had a curiosity; but they all deny it. They would never admit it. In their minds that would be gay!
My straight-buddies and I all respect boundaries; but I have been touched and flirted with by men claiming to be "straight." I know they always wanted to know what it's like. The are very relaxed around me. More tense when around other straight-men. Keeping their shields up! That's the extent of it. I don't allow teasing; or using me as a guinea pig to pacify their hidden curiosities. I don't touch, and you don't touch!
A longtime ago, one guy french-kissed me; only to find out he was grossed-out by the thought, but said it was nice. I won't allow that anymore. It's offensive to me.
Don't act on a random or fleeing-impulse; because that isn't always truly who you are. It may go no further than curiosity. That's also what makes some men dangerous! They try, and become homophobic gay-bashers; blaming gay-men for bringing that out in them.
There is nothing wrong with you. You have to adjust to your true-nature; and then you must only do what you know your mind can comfortably handle. It seems to distress you, and that's what I had to deal with myself. I couldn't accept that I was so strongly drawn to men. I could actually attract men, and I was intrigued by it. It was never a choice; it was always there. I always knew. I prefer men sexually, and not women.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2018): Nothing is wrong with you. If you stop hiding from yourself and accept yourself for who you are, it will set you free. The pain and guilt you feel will disappear.
You're likely bisexual or bi-curious. There's plenty more out there, male and female, like you. There is no reason to be ashamed of your sexuality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2018): You just need to accept yourself for who you are. And know that It's okay to be bisexual, just as it's okay to be straight or homosexual. You just have more options. Have you any friends or family you can talk to? Why do you feel like your betraying people and yourself? To fall in love with someone no matter what gender is a beautiful thing. If you want to be alone It's okay, if you want to have a partner/partners men or women It's okay. As long as your happy. In the end It's your life. It's your choice. And if people around you can't accept that then It's their problem not yours.
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