A
male
age
30-35,
*ustaJoe05
writes:I'll do my best to recall this as accurate as possible. A few summers ago, I had a relationship with a friend I had liked for many years. It was a dream come true. Now, we never got to actually be with each other, because I was away at the time, and it ended before I got back. I truly loved this girl, but neither of our hearts were in the right place at the time. That next year was the hardest of my life yet. I had to see her every day. She not only dated someone else but she lost her virginity to him. And he is scum. I was in a deep depression that year and it didn't help that I not only saw her everyday but I could't close my eyes with out seeing her face, and when I slept, she filled my dreams. I did develop a relationship with another girl at the time. She was the total physical opposite of girl #1 but their personalities had quite a few similarities. They were kinda best friends. It wasn't my fault, it just happened. Girl #2 was kinda mean though. She went back and forth many time between liking me and not liking me. My friends told me I was always down, because of her. Eventually I told girl #1 how I felt and she said she felt the same way. I ended it with girl #2 and spent my 18th birthday with girl #1. I loved her so deeply. I truly forgave her for everything she'd done. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and feel her heart beat. Nothing or no one could have kept me from loving her. She was my reason to live. We were fine for months, until someone at her church told her she needed to be single to serve God fully. She let it go on for a while longer but eventually told me that I wasn't in her immediate future and she couldn't be "tied down." That hurt. I didn't know when you said you loved someone and said that you wanted to be with them that they were tying you down. It hurt so much to see her. She stayed in my business like when I started talking to this one girl but girl #1 called me and told me not to because she had been through a lot and didn't need a guy liking her. There were about 50 more of me btw. She still asks my friends if I'm drinking and smoking. I figured out a week ago that a month ago, she fooled around with a guy I use to treat like a brother. Ive since told him that we are no longer cool. He knew exactly how I felt about her, but stabbed me in the back anyway. Its not fair that I still spend every waking moment thinking about this girl. Why do I dream of her ever night. Why do I still see myself married ti her with children. Its not right! I really don't even believe she loved me. How could you do all this to someone you loved? I dreampt about her last night. Why do keep I hanging on? Is my heart really telling me not to let go, or am I just not strong enough to let her go?
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female
reader, Sweetjen228 +, writes (28 July 2010):
First of all ur not weak for hanging u will eventually get over #1 and find a girl that doesnt need a number because she will be ur world but u still young sound smart and u will have plenty of chicks let her go slowly on her own shell disaapear u cant hold on to long nothing last forever!
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