A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupidmy bf of 2 years is emotionally abusing me, always ignoring me, treats me like shit, never apologize and always finding one reason to another to stop spending time with me. Its been very long since we even talked for more than 5 mts.I know i need to leave him and he is not good for me. But i couldn't do it even if i want to. I always end up calling him and apologizing for his mistakes and short-comes. Please help me, i don't want to hurt myself anymore. Why am i keep on going back to him even if he treats me like dirt. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 May 2012):
 You go back to him, and incur another round of his destroying you, because you haven't developed the self-esteem and self-respect to say (to yourself): "What the f**k is WRONG with me that I can't see how self-defeating and losing this is... what I do???"
Then, you need to puff out your chest and say, to yourself, "Shit, why should I be the one who gets beat to livin' beJesus by this as*hole???? Why don't I just tell him to take a hike, walk away from him, and get on with my life????"
Try those, and see if things don't get better.....
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Ahh typical. Attraction isnt a choice. This goes back to when u first met not now which is why u keep going back. Do u have a low self esteem? Stand ur ground n tell the guy u deserve better n wanna end the reltshp.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 You know you need to leave him and you know he is not good for you but you couldn't do it even if you wanted to.Do you know why you couldn't do it? Because you have not decided to really want to leave him. You keep coming back to him because you always have these train of thoughts about him, thoughts that made you happy with him and not the thoughts how he treated you badly. Yes, if you often have these train of thoughts of good things about him your feelings would come along and you'd start to do something that would satisfy you emotionally and psychologically but the end result would still be the same, YOU ARE HURT.How you are going to end it? It is all in your control. Take control of your emotions, take control of where your thoughts bring you and when you are aware of the things that you do and if you do not want to continue, you should do something that would make you stop.Firstly, you must know what you want to change your old behavior to a new one. Secondly, think of something, strong enough or an intense feeling that would really push you to stop doing things that would hurt you. thirdly, continue conditioning yourself that would give you happiness and not the one's that would hurt you.This is all about you and the only way to change is within you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for replying, to answer the question Random question: was your biological father in the picture when you were growing up?, yes my biological father was in picture while growing up.
I never really had much luck in relationship department, since i am petite (just 4'9) and very ordinary looking person. This is my first serious relationship. That's the reason i am trying to hold on it i guess
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Men like your boyfriend manipulate women into believing that they don't deserve any better and that nobody else would ever love them more, and that this is the best they can possibly get. Such men also hammer down their girlfriends' self-esteem in subtle (and not-so-subtle)ways to such a point where they lose their ability to face reality and to fight for their happiness. That's is exactly what has happened to you. Unless you believe that you truly deserve to be treated with respect, you will forever stay with this jerk and let him walk all over your dignity and self-respect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): You need to grow a backbone and let this man go once and for all. For whatever reason, you KNOW it's wrong what he is doing, yet you continue to allow him to do it to you.You need to gain confidence and strength and BELIEVE that you are worth a man to treat you with respect and dignity, and there are many who do and will, but you have to get out of this abusive situation to find that out.I would highly suggest seaking out professional counseling and work this stuff out and let someone help you learn how to love yourself and how you should be treated. Once you accomplish this, you will be able to recognize men who are no good for you and men who will put you on a pedestal and love you for you without any mental games and manipulation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): "Why do I keep going back to my B/f even though he treats me like dirt?"
Because you crave any kind of attention from any kind of guy, so you'd rather have this loser treat you like dirt because the only thing worse than being alone and actively ignored is being alone and passively abandoned.
Random question: was your biological father in the picture when you were growing up?
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (16 May 2012):
It must be because you think you can't do better. His behaviour has contributed or caused you to feel bad about yourself so you do need to separate yourself from him and work on regaining your own self confidence.
Then eventually when you are ready for a new relationship, make sure to find someone who is a positive influence in your life.
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Becaue you want to. You have a rediculous illusion of your relationship and are trying too hard to hold on to it.
Being single isnt as bad as you think. try it for awhile. Delete his number so you arnt tempted.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (16 May 2012):
 Because he is manipulative and has probably destroyed your confidence which means you don't have the strength to leave him.
You need to break up and delete ALL of his contact details so you can't message him even if you wanted to.
Good luck.
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