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female
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anonymous
writes: When i first met this guy i like. I noticed something about him and i guess the first thing in my mind i thought "man boobs" even though they arn't even that big and i still like him but i keep obsessing over it just because i thought since i thought that then that makes me feel like i am treating him bad. A few times i got the thought of like playing with them or whatever like you do to a girl and they arn't even that big. What is wrong with me? Then when we hung out more, i thought some things he did looked gay or he acted it or his voice sounded retarded but i love him no matter what and all the things i don't like, i don't care but i keep obsessing and today my friend asked me if he was bi because in his pictures she said he looked bi or gay by the way he was acting in them. So, that made me obsess over the gay thing more and i keep searching for unwanted mean thoughts about him like "fag" or "gay" and other things. How can i stop this? How do i make myself believe i deserve him? I don't think he is gay ..every guy has a bit of something to make them seen it or so i heard. and it's normal for guys to have more girls as friends just like it is for girls to have more guys as friends. He is not gay. I know that but i keep obsessing and having mean thoughts. Please help!Also keep in mind i have OCD that is why i say "unwanted thoughts" and searching for them. I feel like i don't deserve him! He says he doesn't care what i think about him but i feel like i am treating him bad and i'm not! UGH!
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female
reader, chanohchan  +, writes (28 January 2007):
i think you should give him a chance you say hes a really nice pearson. and you have to rember people are made up of whats inside not whats on the outside think of all the things u like about him and all the things u dont and rember its hard to find real genuwine people that care and love u for who u are i know it must be hard with ocd but try to think of the ggod things.and a good thing about gay people is they are always clean and smelly nice so hopefully he willl have a nice femaine side to him "i know hes not get"
if really bothers u that much you could ither tell him and see if he will loose a few pounds
or leave him and get on with ur life
but try to work on it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Try and cancel out these bad thoughts, like man boobs with good ones like that he's healthy and stuff.
As long as your not blurting these things out accidentally and hurting his feelings then that makes you a bigger and better person for keeping it in.
You know that you love him and thats what counts. He isn't upset by it because he doesn't know any different and as long as it stays that way then it's fine xxx
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A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (28 January 2007):
 okay, well you dont say whether or not you're having any treatment for your OCD but if you're not then you really need to see someone about it. Thats the first thing you should do. There are also a ton of websites around that can help. here's a couple to get you started.
hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/obsessive_compulsive.html
www.anxietypanic.com/ocdtreatment.html
I hope these help. Now about your thoughts for this guy. well, obviously, with OCd, intrusive thoughts like this are common and irrational. You know that they're irrational but I can understand how hard it is to control them when they're in your head. Some men do look effeminite but of course it doesnt necassarily mean that they're gay. Try not to push your thoughts onto him because, even though he says he doesnt care what you think of him, it cant be nice for him to hear stuff like that. If you love him then try and accept him for all his faults. When you're in love with someone, any little quirks or faults blend into the background and you learn to accept them. After all, nobodys perfect but I think cos of your condition, these things are standing out and not blending away. Explain, if you havent already, that you have OCD and you find it hard sometimes to control your thoughts but please do get help. It can be treated and then you can build your relationship in the proper way. Good Luck x
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A
male
reader, ady  +, writes (28 January 2007):
 you are kindly requested to be awar that all the idea going throught your mind should be based on some thing in your mind i think it is better at first to detrmin what you want and then to discuss any thing.
i hope i give you some helpful thing;
best regard;
ady
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