A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need an objective mans point of view, please!!! The problem is simple - I really like one of my good guy friends. What makes it complicated - our history as friends! Friends for 5 years, met in college - pretty much both liked each other but never had the balls to do anything about it. I got over my crush fast but not sure if he did and I feel like I teased him a lot in college and after. We make subtle comments but most of the time remain normal friends - try to set each other up, always talk about the opp sex, etc. cut to: me six weeks ago, (after i came to the realization I really like him) I tried subtly hitting on him.....but was having trouble b/c I don’t want him thinking I’m teasing again - but he didnt get the signals/ moves I tried to pull anyway - I did txt him later letting him know that was me hitting on him but he didn’t respond (cuz he says he didn’t know I was trying). So I planned on taking him to dinner (but he ended up paying) after Xmas to be direct and tell him my feelings - but I wussed out once he started talking about his current hookup (shes 35, we’re 25) He says ‘the sex is great’. But that night we ended up going out with friends to a bar after, made eye contact the whole night, talked alone, he walked me to my car but i couldnt drive so I ended up staying at his place -- took off my jeans, got in his bed, and passed out. No moves, nothing. Now I fear he thinks I’m the biggest tease ever! I’ve asked to hang out three times since then to tell him but hes been ‘busy’. And I know he seems to be into the 35 yr old more now. So...question remains, should I make it a point to see him and tell him now, or should I wait until the fling with the 35 yr old is done??? I just want to know what hes thinking and need to hear a guys mindset!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Objective man's point of view, isn't that a contradiction in terms? ;)
It seems to me that your guy friend really is just your friend. It's good he isn't interested in a friends-with-benefits arrangement because it sounds like you'd probably ended up sleeping with each other and it would have ended messily! (your friendship that is, ha ha)
I think if you like him you should keep quiet for now because he is clearly in to this other person. If you feel there is something special there then it will be worth the wait I'm sure. I have a friend who is utterly in love with his friend and he's been waiting for her to become single for 4 years!! I remember the day I gave him some advice I said "if you love her and you think it's right just wait your time"... I didn't think he'd take it so literally. So maybe see how things go but i'm sure you agree you don't want to wait 4 years for him and the older women to part company.... all the best! :)
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