A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my ex dumped me 3 weeks ago. He got depressed about things in his life and as a result said love and relationships are hard work and told me that he no longer wants it. But he wants us to be friends. Im quite devastated I love him so much and I'd do anything to get him back. I must also say this is a LDR but would have turned physical in September as Im moving there for a year definately, but hopefully permanently. (and no not to be with him. it's what i've wanted since i was little) and we have been together in real before, anywayI keep dreaming lately that he comes online and says ewwo (to which i reply ello, its our thing, was) and i think he makes some small talk and then says to me have i really hurt you and would you ever take me back? to which i reply with yes, you've broken my heart but of course i would take you back. He then says and would you also marry me and live with me and love me forever when i want to settle down to which i also say yes then get all happy and he's happy and then i wake up, turn and look at the laptop and nothing!Why do I keep dreaming this? Is it simply because I wish that would happen?Also is it weird that everytime i masturbate i fantasize about him? I never ever have thought of anyone else but him in the past 3 years and thats not stopped because he dumped me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): I'm sorry to say that your mind is just showing you want you want to see. In your case, it's completely understandable.I went through the same dreams only a couple of months ago with my closest friend (my unrequited love). I would dream that she messaged me with pages of text saying how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. Also had a few dreams in which she sent me a text saying that she was in love with me, those dreams felt so real I found myself checking my e-mail to see if it really happened or not. But of course, it's just a dream showing you what you want.Don't indulge in those dreams; it'll only give you false hope and heartache.As for the masturbating question, it's normal to fantasize about your past love after something like this. You’re subconsciously hoping that you'll get together with him again one day and live out those thoughts. However, you have to STOP thinking of him when/if you masturbate. If you still feel the need to, do so, that's fine in moderation but do not let him cross your mind. It'll just cause you more emotional upset.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): Short answer--yes. It's because you wish it would happen, and the dream makes you feel good and special while it lasts. It's normal to dream about crushes and people you want but can't have.
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