A
female
 ,
*una~
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 14 months now and we are looking into spending our lives together very soon. My boyfriend is going oversea for six months to travel on his own, hoping to gain more experience in his life (which he truly lacks). He knows now is the best time to go, because he knows he can’t leave me after we live together. I supported him, and believe this experience will benefit him very much.On the other hand, my best friend (male-gay) keeps attacking my bf. They dislike each other from the start. My best friend think it’s selfish of my bf to leave me here for 6 months, and also his 6 year old daughter (past marriage). My best friend also thinks I shouldn’t be with him because I’m not ready to be his daughter’s mom. This on-going attack drives me nuts. My bf believes my best friend will only bring bad influence in me. He claims my best friend is selfish, materialistic, and inconsiderate of others. My bf is afraid when he leaves, my best friend will change me. He will also try to get me to dump my bf.My bf and I have only argued less than 3 times in our relationship and those 3 times happens to involve my best friend one way or another. My bf sees my best friend will cause our relationship harm. He finally said to me I’ve got to make a decision really soon. I will never be able to have both men in my life. He wants me to stop going to dinner with my best friend, stop hanging out with him, or even talking to him on the phone. My bf said my best friend will start doing things that will be harmful to our relationship right after he leaves. He’s afraid the girl he loves will not be the same when he comes back.I don’t know what to do. Why do I have to choose one of them, especially when my bf’s going away and I’ll be very lonely?
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (31 October 2006):
 Sorry to say I agree with your gay friend I think he's trying to protect you and loves you very much anyway nobody can ask you to choose I think you should think this over
ciao
A
female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (31 October 2006):
 Best Friends can be tricky... But he needs to learn to butt out! It's your choice... only you can make decisions regarding your love life. True best friends will support you regardless. He may hold you in high selfesteem so he thinks no one is good enough for you... but that is for you to decide. It's not as if your BF is abusive, or a drug addict. There are much worse things in life. Is the childs mother still around? If so than it's not as if you will be her mom, it's more like an auntie.
Let him know that by disliking your bf, he's basically putting down your choice... and thus offending you as well. Sometimes people who are attached try to seperate you from anyone they think is too close... you need to let him know you still love him, but you feel like he doesn't care about you if all he does is put down your BF. Let him know you respect his opinion but it's not yours and as long as your bf treats you well he should be happy for you
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