A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, this is my first question here. I've been in a relationship for almost 4 months now. Before this guy became my boyfriend, he was a very close friend for years.I liked him for over a year, and thought he was giving me signals that he liked me too. So I finally told him how I felt, and he said "I like you a lot, but I'm not sure if it's in that sense. But I'm willing to give it a try"Our relationship progressed, there was a lot of chemistry. But he still never said "I like you" or "I love you" even once. I told him that after 2 weeks of dating, but he didn't say it back.The main problems in this relationship are:- I'm not sure he really likes me- He never asks me out on dates. We always go to a park nearby and makeout- He's always waiting for me to take initiative. I'm always the one who calls, who asks, who does things- He doesn't want to tell his parents that he has a girlfriend (big sign of not taking it seriously)I don't want to be in a meaningless relationship. It hurts to think that he doesn't feel the same way I do.I don't want to be the man in this relationship. I'd like him to take control, come up with ideas, take me out to do SOMETHING (dinner, movie, theatre, ...), call me first.I tried giving him "the cold shoulder" for a week, not calling or anything. He didn't call me all that time and in the end I gave in and called him. He didn't miss me.Should I break this off? Or should I talk to him to make him change his behaviour?
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female
reader, um0829  +, writes (29 December 2008):
One thing that i have learned from dating guys is that you never ever CHASE!! If a guy likes you trust me he will take iniatitive, and if he doesnt why would you want a guy like that anyways. You went a week without calling him and he didnt even budge, please he should have beeen long gone after that. If he doesnt see what he has and how he is messing it up maybe it is time to move on. There are plenty of guys out there and it is fun to meet them. Life is short dont waste you time on a little boy who is acting like a vegetable!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): I should have been more specific: I didn't tell him I loved him after two weeks. I just told him I liked him. I don't say "I love you" lightly.
Also, he is one of the most confident guys I know. He's definitely NOT shy or uncertain. He's had 5 or 6 girlfriends in the past and they all stayed friends after that.
And he is the same age as I... 20. We have mutual friends, same tastes, live close to each other, ...
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