A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do I find it so hard to approach females I like, particularly good-looking ones? Last night, I went to Pizza Hut and got my friend to ask the waitress out for me cos I didn't have the guts to do it? Is it because I am afraid of rejection, that they may have a boyfriend? Anyone got any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didnt get that answer from simplyme!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe stayed the night last Wednesday, because she couldn't get up the hill because of the snow, then she stayed Thu and Fri nights. She went home, and even though we're not going out together, I felt upset when she went home. She stayed the night Monday as well. We sit up and chat until 1am every night she's here. She might stay tomorrow night as well. As we are not an item, why do I feel down and upset when she goes back to hers?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs we are not a couple, would it be appropriate for me to buy her a ring for Christmas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did - I took the easy way out and texted to ask her - she said she couldn't.She came round on Friday, I asked her why she couldn't come, and she said she had a party planned for that evening, and it had been planned for ages.She came on Friday at 6, and didn't go until 12.15am! At 11.30, I said I was going up to bed, and she said 'and leave me alone down here?'! I make her laugh a lot, we get on really well, I don't want to spoil it, but I want something more. Maybe being my sister's boyfriend's sister has something to do with it, I don't know
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought that too, but if she is using reverse psychology, she's had four years to use it!, and she never hints in textx
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA couple of weeks ago, my sisters boyfriends sister and I went up to see them at their flat in Reading. I like her a lot; she was sitting next to me on the sofa, we were getting on fine, having a laugh, until I became a bit too confident and she said something cheeky to me, and I replied and said 'thats why you're attracted to me!' After a couple of seconds, she said 'I'm not attracted to you!', which I thought was really hurtful (the way she did it).We have known each other for about 5 years now, she comes round a lot, she brought me McDonalds last week.I know I'm not the most good-looking bloke, but she goes for looks over personality, she's admitted that (probably the reason she's been single for 4 years!) I pretty much know, after 5 years, she doesn't want to get involved with me (seeing my sister is her brothers girlfriend).On Sat night, I am going to a leaving party; should I invite her?Also, what do you think of the whole thing? And do you think that statement she made was hurtful?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLadyCorsair,I didnt get your reply
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think her reply was just an excuse then? I think she does have a boyfriend though
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): You need to gain some confidence in yourself! You should get to know yourself more. If you have self-esteem issues sit down and list some good and bad traits about yourself. With the bad traits, if its something you want to change about yourself then come up with a plan for changing them and stick with it. For example, I decided that I have been using my credit cards way to much. So I set up a budget that would allow me to limit my credit card use to emergencies only and I started paying down my accounts.
In the case of your friend asking women out for you. That makes a really bad first impression. I know I wouldn't go out with a guy who could not approach me themselves. As for the question with why are there single attractive females...not everyone wants to be in a relationship. Even attractive women have issues!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've also often wondered why some pretty women don't have boyfriends?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): First off, if I was a chick and some friend's guy asked me out. It wouldn't get him very far, maybe a smile, and I would of went back to my work.Some women are just traditional, they expect the man to ask them out, expect might be pushing it, but more like it shows interest, you KNOW he's into you.If you think about it, the guy decides most of the time when to make the relationship exclusive, when to propose, so getting the girl in the beginning seems natural. You need to work on your confidence a bit. Being 30's, you need to man-up son.Just remember, worst case scenario,she says no, and you move on. And keep it simple, real women that are not into games, don't like lines. Try to start up a convo. When I accept offers, most of the guys, we chat for a bit, about whatever, it can be standing in line at the grocery store or wherever, the guy does make the effort first, and we'll exchange a few words, and he'll ask for a number, or if I'd like to meet him for coffee or sometimes they want to checkout a "new" place in town, etc. And if the vibe is good, I'll accept.On calling, if a guy waits a few days to call, I won't consider them as serious. If the guy calls within 24 hours, it's a plus. Just be yourself, keep it genuine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not a shy guy but I am around women!
Just to let you know, that girl asked my friend to tell me that I seem like a lovely person, and she is flattered, but she doesn't think her boyfriend would be too happy if she started seeing me, and they are in a comfortable relationship.
What are good things to say to a girl considering my question?
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female
reader, Emmerz +, writes (5 November 2009):
Bless ya. Your probably just shy. You might be scared of rejection but don't worry. If they say no there are plenty of fish in the sea. Trust me women are more likely to say yes when you have taken up the courage to ask them yourself. You you really can't ask face to face why don't you write a sneaky message on the back of the receipt or drop an email if you know them already. Even if you write a quick note and give it to them then run away it is still better than getting your friend to ask. Anyway he might want to ask for himself. Its a dog eat dog world with lots of competition. If your friend has the chance to bed someone he ain't going to help you. It's the male way. Maybe you could get a female relation to set you up on the date or join a dating agency. Speed dating is fun.
x
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