| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel lost right now. I hate being the way that I am, but I have yet to figure out how to be different in my friendship patterns. My ex boyfriends end up being best friends. Of course, an exes are going to drift away after a while, even if it takes a decade. That's what's happening right now for me. I am closest with two guys I have had relationships with. I hate just attaching to something for no reason other than insecurity or habit, but I like both of them as people and I prefer interacting with men as friends over having a handful of female friends. I do have some female friends, but I don't feel as close to them as the guys I've known in my life. I miss them both, as they were constants in my life (one of them for almost 10 years). I did not force these relationships to endure past the break-ups. They just came naturally, and the relationships afterward are only platonic.I hate feeling empty and kind of lost when there's not a dude I feel close to. I am not interested in getting back with either of them, but over the years I have developed true friendship with them and recently they are not getting in touch with me as often (we are all long-distance right now), and I usually don't call people religiously unless I know they want me to. Why am I like this and why can I usually feel closest to complete when I really feel I'm close to an interesting guy who I can talk to? He doesn't have to be mine, just be my friend. I'm pretty sure that it's partially because I lost a close relationship with my dad when I was very young, but I can't understand why this pattern persists when I am aware of it. I could abandon these types of relationships tomorrow if I chose to do so, but I would miss the good feeling and happiness I get from talking to these guys, and I wouldn't feel 'right' anymore.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 why dont you just get a bf sounds like your just lonely for male companionship
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 Sry about the title typo - that was my fault. Was trying to go through tonnes of posts with a toddler climbing on my desk and throwing dim sim peices around and overlooked my typo. Just the typical daily stuff ..lol. I am not sure how to edit once approved but maybe someone else will see it and be able to. If not, I am sure everyone would know what it is supposed to say and that it was just a typo. :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This isn't an answer, but I wrote the question and I'm wondering if a moderator could fix the mistake in the title?
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