A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want a baby. I don't even feel I need a husband or boyfriend. Also I don't need to hear about how hard they are to take care of, I have babysat twin boys since they were born for 3 years now, everyday all day since their parents have very demanding jobs. I've dealt with their good moods and bad and I know it is not all fun and games when raising children. Well I don't know, but I'm saying I am not disillusioned about how they are cute and expect only the "fun side". I want it all. I have wanted a baby for as long as I can remember. I'm going on 20 btw. It isn't old and I know I'm not really ready but what can I do? I have a stable job and aside from being in a relationship I feel I would be able to take care of a child. Now I'm not saying I will go out and have a baby, I just want to know why I feel this way. I want a baby so badly that it hurts. And can you explain exactly why? I have a feeling it is about not having someone to love or having so much love inside me, but I wanted a baby when I was with my previous boyfriend also and I was very much in love with him. I had a pregnancy scare one time and while other girls my age freak out I was genuinely excited. I know I would be a great mom and it's all I ever wanted. Anyone else who has felt like this please help me out. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): ok... Not to be a "downer" or anything but I wanted to let you all know I had my little girl when I was 20 years old. Now, I love my daughter more than life itself, but I also realize how hard I made it for myself by having a baby that young. Im still trying to make it through school and hold down a steady job, while also paying for daycare, a place to live, and food for my kiddo. These are the years that Im supposed to be getting on my feet and setting the pace for the rest of my life but Im so busy with the day to day aspects of life that my future fell on the back burner. Im not saying that it is wrong to have these feelings, just hoping that you really think things through before you make any kind of decisions. Babies are a true blessing in this world and my baby girl lights up my world everyday. Take your time... you may appreciate the blessing a little more. :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This feeling is the same one I live with every day. In my head, I know it's irresponsible of me to want a baby-- I'm "too young" with barely enough money for rent every month, an unreliable monthly paycheck, and an unstable living situation. I have a wonderful stable relationship though, going on 6 years. We both want children so badly (we work with children), but.... We just can't have them until we become more stable. I want to be responsible when it comes to having a family, but it's just so hard when every bone in my body screams 'babies!' Biology sucks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think if you feel fulfilled in every aspect of your life (especially the relationship you are in), then having a kid right that minute isn't important and you can wait. I think I wanted one because I was either not in a relationship at all or in a bad one and wasn't fulfilled emotionally and wanted someone who could give me unconditional love. I grew up a lot, it's been over a year, and I had a relationship and no longer felt the need to have children right away. I wanted to be happy with just him and me and have alone time then have a child. I forgot I even wrote this question until I saw that I had 2 new answers in my email. Thanks everyone.
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female
reader, fbtf09 +, writes (8 November 2009):
I saw this question and had to add my two cents. I am 24 and have felt this since I turned 18.
ITS GENETICS.
Our minds are programmed for this, along with the minds of every other mammal. In the same way that a guys mind is programmed to date alot of women, and for the exact same reason.
Check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_selection_in_human_evolution
That being said, babysitting and being around kids is completely different than actually having them. When babysitting, you can 1.) look forward to going home and 2.) call mom if something is amiss or you dont know what to do(medical emergencies and such). Having SOLE RESPONSIBILITY for the well being of a helpless human, 24/7, is totally different.
Hope this helps :)
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female
reader, RaceOfTheMaggots +, writes (26 October 2009):
I'm 21 and have the exact same feelings! I went to my friend's baby shower yesterday and felt so envious, and I felt selfish for it because I'm supposed to be happy for her-which I am, but all the same...I'm in my first year of college and in a great relationship, but my fiance can't find work and everything feels stuck right now. And it sucks because I want kids so bad!!! I know that I absolutely cannot wait until I'm out of college (in three years). I even collect clothes and other stuff, I read the books, the magazines, watch all the shows, and every day it gets harder and harder to remind myself to wait. I'm glad I found something like this where I can vent and know I'm not crazy!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): hi me and my partner have been together 4 months and we want a baby. i've always loved babies for as long as i can remember there so cute and lovable and i know they tie you down and take all your money but i dont really care i love them and i've wanted one for so long i've already decided on names
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): Hi I am also 20 and I feel Exactly the same about having a baby... My bf and i have been together for almost 5 years now and we both want a baby. I dont tell anyone though because everyone says that wanting a baby at my age is just plain stupid and immature and that im too young but i know i would be a good mom ... i think its just that some girls are just ready to be a mom at a young age... I mean 20 isnt that young to have a baby but i have been ready for about 3 years. I just honestly think that some girls mature faster than others and now days so many young girls are getting pregnant..... i kinda feel out of the loop... and then i see girls that i went to school with and they dont even want their child .. i just wonder why i havent had that chance yet. but i just keep telling my self that when the time is right i will get pregnant and honestly i hope it is soon.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you cottongin and Queen emmy for the advice. I really appreciate it. I babysit often but I will try to more. And anonymous I am sooo glad someone else feels the same way! I thought I was crazy, everytime I see a baby I say how badly I want one and hear "no you don't". Exactly like you, they have no idea what I am feeling! I'm sure you will become pregnant don't worry. Sometimes it takes a while for birth control to get out of your system. It took my sister a long time as well but do not worry, she ended up with twins. If nothing else you can go to the doctor and have them assure you that you are just fine! Thanks again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): i know exactly how you feel! im 20 and ive been wanting a baby of my own for about 3 years now..it actually hurts when i see one, im jealouse over people that are pregant! ive got so much love to give! your not on your own trust me! i know you dont wanna keep hearing the same shit either! the "your too young!" blah blah blah! they dont have a clue what your feeling! ive been off the pill nearly a year now...and still not managed to fall pregnant! so im getting worried now! but darling, your not on your own..xxx
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female
reader, cottongin +, writes (22 April 2008):
 i have actually been there, even though im only 16. but i just really wanted to have kids with this one guy i fancied, who was not (and still isnt) available to me. i got so frustrated! eventually the desire wore down (luckily) and i've been getting my baby fix baby siting his sister's new baby (well she's 3 months old now)
but my suggestions for you though, are that since you obviously cant have a baby at this time in your life (well from what it looks like it seems you're not ready), would be to maybe do some babysitting or work in a day care; anything to be around babies. try to get your baby fix.
otherwise, i will suggest, get a pet! puppies and kittens are a lot of work, as are any babies. you can give your love to them as you would a baby. Might i suggest getting a pair of rats as pets. they are the most adorable creatures, and less work than a dog or cat. intelligent too!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): You may want a child, but believe me having one is another matter. They take up 300% of your time and you should only have one when you are in a fully committed and loving relationship. I have brought a child up on my own and it is so hard, even with the help of a good family and friends. Children bring so much love but they should be born out of love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's really so selfish to want to give all my love to a child? I'm not trying to fill a void because as I said I wanted a baby with my last boyfriend and we were very much in love. I have always wanted a child and my only goal in life has ever been to have children and get married. This may be boring to some but it is what I want. That may make me selfish, which I don't see how, but alright.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): My guess is you've a love-shaped void in your life and want a baby so you'll have someone to love you unconditionally. Personally, I think that not a good enough reason to have a child as it's selfish.
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