A
female
age
30-35,
*ritishGirls4life
writes:Why do I feel like I am more of a mother to my boyfriend then a girlfriend. I feel like this because I am always telling him what he has done right and wrong it's like he is only saying the answers that I want to hear. I am always the one that ends up paying for him. I feel like he doesn't really care about me sometimes. He keeps saying he is trying so hard. But if he is why am I not happy?am I too picky? or is he just not actually trying hard enough? Like yesterday for instance I got us some tickets to a concert to go see. He was all excited and everything on msn. He told me that he would give me a big hug at school. Then the next day in the hallways as he was passing by the only stared at me and smiled for 1 second and then he kept talking to that girl he was with.I don't know what to do i tried talking to him about it today how I felt like he was ignoring me and stuff. But he just thought i was jealous of that girl. I am not jealous I don't mind if he has girls as friends, but could he not stop for one second to say thanks for the tickets. He didn't even care about the price my mom paid for the tickets. Like a few months ago we went canoeing and my mom paid. It's like he doesn't notice that my mom is paying for him too when he has a job. He doesn't even pay for himself. That is why i always tell him not to buy me anything because he should pay from himself and I should pay for myself. It's like he doesn't have a brain. Seriously what is going up in a guys brain?I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be great thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): You are not being his mother, your mother is paying for your boyfriend. Does it seem like you have pay him to be with you? You are worth more. Why would you settle for someone like that? Even if it is tough back off. Let him make the moves. Talking about it won't help cause he'll just do it again.As for letting him buy things for you... let him, once in a while. Some gender roles are there because they made sense. It is guys who are commitment phobic and not eloquent so when they have to pay for things at least you are sure they want them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): Your relationship is one-sided and you're the one doing all of the work. Your bf should offer to pay or at least split the cost with you. Relationships, like friendships or any other sort of bond between people, are 2 way streets, with BOTH people putting in the effort, not just one. Try to talk to your guy about this and express your concerns. If he doesn't change and continues to act the way he does, then you have some serious thinking to do. You deserve better and are way more mature than your man. Relationships take work, but nothing should be this stressful. Good luck!
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